With the best of wishes,
Yours sincerely,
(Signed) EVERYBODY.
* * * * *
CHANCE FOR BUYERS.—Last week, among the Tuesday’s arrangements in the Daily Telegraph, was announced:—“Bath Horse Show.” Did this include “Bath Towel-Horse Show?” Fine chance for sporting Mr. BLUNDEL MAPLE. M.P., as a Towel-Horse dealer. “Great Towel-Horse Show in Tottenham Court Road!” The sale of yearlings and the pedigrees would be interesting.
* * * * *
[Illustration: LATEST INTELLIGENCE.
“BY THE WAY, WHERE IS THAT PLACE, HELIGOLAND, THEY’RE ALL TALKING SO MUCH ABOUT?”
“OH—DON’T YOU KNOW, DEAR? IT’S ONE OF THE PLACES LATELY DISCOVERED BY MR. STANLEY!”]
* * * * *
THE TOMATO-CURE FOR DYSPEPSIA.
Don’t talk to me of colocynth or
famed cerulean pill,
Don’t mention hyoscyamus or aloes
when I’m ill;
The very word podophyllin is odious in
mine ears,
The thought of all the drugs I’ve
ta’en calls up the blinding tears;
The Demon of Dyspepsia, a sufferer writes
to say,
At sight of the Tomato-plant will vanish
quite away.
The Faculty will diet you till indigestion
stops,
On what have always seemed to me interminable
slops;
A dainty dish is sure to be the worst
thing you can eat;
The bismuth and the charcoal come like
nightmares after meat.
Away with all restrictions now, bring
mutton, beef, and veal,
As long as ripe Tomatoes come to supplement
a meal.
Hepatic action, doctors say, is very hard
to start,
And if you have too much of it, that also
makes you smart;
And so the fate of many folks, especially
in town,
Is first to stir the liver up, and then
to calm him down.
Now he can trouble us no more, although
we go the pace;
A diet of Tomatoes keeps the tyrant in
his place.
Away with deleterious drugs, for here’s
a plant been found,
Worth all the weird concoctions that dispensers
can compound:
Get fresh Tomatoes, red and ripe, and
slice and eat, and then—
You’ll find that you are liver-less,
and not like other men.
Come ye who dire dyspepsia’s pangs
impatiently endure,
It cannot hurt, and may do good, this
new Tomato-Cure.
* * * * *
SWEETS TO THE ACID.—In an excellent speech, last week, Mr. HENRY IRVING suggested that a Charitable Organisation Society should be established for the Distribution of Art Relief. He rightly contended that the Beautiful was as necessary to perfect happiness as the Severely Useful. Drains (excellent things in their way) are scarcely on a level with Pictures. This is an idea that the so-called “goody-goody folk” find a difficulty in accepting; possibly because most of them personally represent everything that is unlovely.