But the Colonel needs no prompting, straight rises to address them,
  And his eye now flames in fury, and now twinkles like a star;
  And he turned on Mr. PARNELL’S men, and didn’t rightly bless them,
  This flashing, dashing, slashing militaire from North Armagh.

  And before a man could whistle there were ructions and denials,
  Shouts and countershouts of anger—­quite a House of Commons scene;
  While the Colonel, who had bottled all his wrath, poured out the vials
  On the heads of Irish gentlemen whose wigs were on the green.

  ’Twas in vain they sought to daunt him; like a flock of noisy sparrows
  When a hawk comes grimly swooping, or like moths that tempt the wick,
  So they scattered when the Colonel told the House of shameful arrows,
  Which were fired (I quote the Colonel) in the hope that mud might stick.

  When Sir BOYLE, the ever famous, smelt a rat (you’ve heard the story)—­
  Saw it floating in the air, he promptly nipped it in the bud;
  But I think our modern Colonel gets the greater share of glory
  For inventing shameful arrows that could only spatter mud.

  And, oh, ye sons of Erin, when the coat-tails next are trailing,
  Make your weapons on this pattern, think of SAUNDERSON, his bull;
  And no mother’s son will suffer, though the missiles should come hailing,
  If you only use mud-arrows, or shillelaghs made of wool

* * * * *

DEVOUT WISH OF IRISH LANDLORDS FOR MR. BALFOUR.—­“May his shadowing never grow less!”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “FIGURES OF SPEECH.”

Balfour (the Showman).  “NOW, YOU’D LIKE TO SEE SIR WILLIAM V. HARCOURT IN FOUR REMARKABLE SITUATIONS.”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

[Illustration:  A New Subscriber to The Morning Post.]

House of Commons, Monday, July 14.—­Government again narrowly escaped defeat.  Last time it was Ascot; this time Marlborough House Garden Party.  “This Session,” says T. HARRINGTON, “I’ve taken to subscribing to The Morning Post; study its fashionable news; look out for arrangements likely to draw men away from House; then me and SAGE put our heads together; arrange for Division; take it smart, and Government left in lurch.”

To-day opportunity found in Motion for Select Committee on constitution of Scotch Committee.  AKERS-DOUGLAS proposed twenty-one members, all Scotch but one.  “Let us have the lot Scotch,” says ROBERTSON; moves Amendment accordingly.  House pretty full, knowing crisis at hand; Government Whips scouting for Members.

“Tell you what I’ll do,” says PENROSE FITZGERALD to AKERS-DOUGLAS; “I hate garden-parties and that sort of thing, but as we shall be in a hole if Division now rushed, I’ll take cab, run up to Marlborough House, fetch down some men; inconvenient, you know; works against grain; would rather be down here helping you than mingling in glittering throng; but, as the Governor says, duty is our loadstar; say the word, and I’ll go off to Pall Mall and fetch a lot down.”