who were undeniably fatiguing, because they overcame
one like a whirlwind. But with Father Payne it
always seemed as though he put wind into one’s
sails, but left one to steer one’s own course.
He did not thwart or deflect, or even direct:
he simply multiplied one’s own energy. I
never had the sensation with him of suppressing any
thought in my mind, or of saying to myself, “The
Father won’t care about that.” He
always did care, and I used to feel that he was glad
to be inquired of, glad to have his own thoughts diverted,
glad to be of use. He never nagged; or found petty
fault, or “chivied” you, as the boys say.
If you asked him a question, or asked him to stroll
or walk, you always felt that he was delighted, that
it was the one thing he enjoyed. He liked to
have childish secrets. He and I had several little
caches in the holes of trees, or the chinks
of buildings, where we concealed small coins or curious
stones on our walks, and at a later date revisited
them. We were frankly silly about certain things.
He and I had some imaginary personages—Dr.
Waddilove, supposed to be a rich beneficed clergyman
of Tory views; Mr. McTurk, a matter-of-fact Scotsman;
Henry Bland, a retired schoolmaster with copious stores
of information; and others—and we used
often to discourse in character. But he always
knew when to stop. He would say to me suddenly:
“Dr. Waddilove said to me yesterday that he
never argued with atheists or radicals, because they
always came round in the end.” Or he would
say, in Henry Bland’s flute-like tones:
“Your mention of Robert Browning induces me to
relate an anecdote, which I think may prove not wholly
uninteresting to you.” At times we used
to tell long stories on our walks, stopping short in
the middle of a sentence, when the other had instantly
to continue the narrative. I do not mean that
the wit was very choice or the humour at all remarkable—it
would not bear being written down—but it
amused us both. “Come, what shall we do
to-day?” I can hear him say. “Dr.
Waddilove and Mr. Bland might have a walk and discuss
the signs of the times?” And then the ridiculous
dialogue would begin.
That was the delightful thing about him, that he was
always ready to fall in with a mood, always light
of touch and gay. He could be tender and sympathetic,
as well as incisive and sensible if it was needed;
but he was never either contradictory or severe or
improving. He would sometimes pull himself up
and say: “Here, we must be business-like,”
but he was never reproachful or grieved or shocked
by what we said to him. He could be decisive,
stern, abrupt, if it was really needed. But his
most pungent reproofs were inflicted by a blank silence,
which was one of the most appalling things to encounter.
He generally began to speak again a few moments later,
on a totally different subject, while any such sign
of displeasure was extremely rare. He never under
any circumstances reminded anyone of his generosity,
or the trouble he had taken, or the favours he had
conferred, while he would often remind one of some
trifling kindness done to him. “I often
remember how good you were about those accounts, old
boy! I should never have got through without you!”