One of the officers was complacent enough to assume them, and caused great diversion by his eccentric gestures.  My levee was not quite so successful, as is generally the case, as that tedious old gossip, GUIDO FAUX, obtained admission.  As usual he had a grievance.  It appears that a report has got abroad that he was executed in the days of our late lamented Monarch, JAMES THE FIRST of Great Britain, and SIXTH of Scotland.  Says GUIDO, “If this be believed by the multitude there will be a demand for my expulsion, and what shall I do if I be turned out?” Condoled with him, and escaped his importunities by joining with Master JOHN SHEPPARD, and Squire TURPIN in a game of “Lorne Ten Hys,” a recreation recently introduced by my good neighbour Monsieur CLAUDE DU VAL.  Failed in making a goal, and put out thereat.  However, regained my usual flow of spirits on receiving a polite request from the Governor to join him and his good Dame in a visit to the Tower of London, to call upon Lady JANE GREY—­once Queen—­and now a guest in that admirable institution.  Was graciously received by Her Ladyship, who is now of advanced age.  Her Ladyship was vastly amused at the news that had reached her that some chroniclers do insist that she has lost her head.  “I have in good sooth lost my teeth,” laughed the venerable gentlewoman “but my head is as firmly set upon my shoulders as ever.  I do verily believe that it must be some mad piece of waggery of that Prince of good fellows, Sir WALTER RALEIGH.  The aged Knight is always up to some of his nonsense!” After playing a game of quoits with Lord BALMARINO and the Tower Headsman (whose office is a well-paid sinecure), I returned to Newgate, greatly pleased with my morning’s promenade.  In the afternoon, entertained the Governor at dinner, who declared that he could never get so good a meal in his own quarters.  “Strap me, no!” I exclaimed:  “and, were it not that our food was excellent, who would stay at Newgate?” For I confess that, although there are pleasure-gardens, and every sort of amusement and comfort, Newgate, at times, is decidedly damp.  Then I raised a glass of punch to my lips, and wished him the same luck that I myself enjoyed.  “And that I had!” quoth he.  “Would I were prisoner instead of Governor.  But it would not be meet.  I am not a man of sufficient quality!” And now I must bring this entry to a conclusion, for there is to be a theatrical performance in the dining-hall.  Little DAVID GARRICK is to play the principal male character, while Mistress NELLIE GWYNE, Mistress SIDDONS, and Mistress PEG WOFFINGTON, are also in the cast.  The title of the piece is Hamlet, and I am told it is written by a young man new to Town.  The name of the author is either SHAKSPEARE or SMITH.  I am not sure which, but think SMITH.

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P.S.—­Open my Diary once again. Hamlet a poor piece.  It is now said that it was written by BACON or BUCHANAN.  Of the former I know nothing, and posterity must discover the identity of the latter.  For the rest, if again I am pressed to go to the Play—­strap me! but, comfortable as I am, I will pack up my traps, and be off from Newgate—­for ever!