Mr. RODENT (Senior) was called upon to preside.  He took the hillock amid waving of tails and much enthusiasm, and remarked that he trusted that that vast assembly, one of the most magnificent demonstrations that even Hyde Park had ever known, would show by its orderly behaviour, that Rats knew how to conduct business. (Cheers.) They lived in strange times.  A barbarous suggestion had been made to evict them—­to turn them out of house and home, by means of what he might call Emergency Ferrets. (Groans, and cries of “Boycott them!") He feared that boycotting a ferret would not do much good. (A squeak—­“Why not try rattening?”—­and laughter.) Arbitration seemed to him the most politic course under the circumstances. (Cheers.) They were accused of eating young moor-chicks.  Well, was a Rat to starve? ("No, no!”) Did not a Rat owe a duty to those dependent upon it? (Cheers, and cries of “Yes!") He appealed to the opinion of the civilised world to put a stop—­At this point in the Chair-rat’s address, an alarm of “Dogs!” was raised, and the meeting at once dispersed in some confusion.

* * * * *

THE JOURNALIST-AT-ARMS.

  Who would not be a Journalist-at-Arms? 
  Life for that paladin hath poignant charms. 
  Whether in pretty quarrel he shall run
  Just half an inch of rapier—­in pure fun—­
  In his opponent’s biceps, or shall flick
  His shoulders with a slender walking-stick. 
  The “stern joy” of the man indeed must rise
  To raptures and heroic ecstacies. 
  Oh, glorious climax of a vulgar squabble,
  To redden your foe’s nose, or make him hobble
  For half a week or so, as though, perchance,
  He’d strained an ancle in a leap or dance! 
  Feeble sword-play or futile fisticuffs
  Might be disdained by warriors—­or roughs;
  But to the squabbling scribe the farce has charms. 
  Who would not be a Journalist-at-Arms?

* * * * *

“WANTED!”

A thoroughly well appointed and handsomely furnished COUNTRY MANSION (Elizabethan or Jacobaean period preferred) wanted immediately.  It must contain not less than 50 bedrooms, appropriate reception-rooms, and a hall capable of being utilised for fetes and gala entertainments on a large scale, and must stand in the midst of extensive timbered grounds, surrounded by orangeries, hot-houses, and beautifully kept pleasure grounds replete with the choicest pieces of statuary and ornamental fountains arranged for electrical illumination, the perfect installation of which on the premises, on the newest principles, is regarded as a sine qua non by the Advertiser.  The shooting over four or five hundred acres, and the meeting of not less than three packs of hounds in the immediate neighbourhood, with salmon and trout fishing within easy distance of the mansion, are also considered indispensable.  Particulars as to the surrounding country gentry are requested.  Write also stating whether any recognised race-meeting is held in the immediate vicinity.  The distance of the property from town must not be more than half an hour’s railway journey, and the inclusive rent must not exceed five and twenty shillings a week.