entertaining, a useful, and sometimes a necessary companion.  That although such a clergyman may not be able constantly to find BEEF and WINE for his own family, yet he may be allowed sometimes to afford both to a neighbour, without distressing himself; and the rather, because he may expect at least as good a return.  It will probably be considered, that in many desolate parts, there may not be always a sufficient number of persons considerable enough to be trusted with commissions of the peace, which several of the Clergy now supply much better, than a little, hedge, contemptible, illiterate vicar from twenty to fifty pounds a-year, the son of a weaver, pedlar, tailor, or miller, can be presumed to do.

The landlords and farmers by this scheme can find no profit, but will certainly be losers; for instance, if the large northern livings be split into a dozen parishes, or more, it will be very necessary for the little threadbare gownman, with his wife, his proctor and every child who can crawl, to watch the fields at harvest time, for fear of losing a single sheaf, which he could not afford under peril of a day’s starving; for according to the Scotch proverb, a hungry louse bites sore.  This would of necessity, breed an infinite number of brangles and litigious suits in the spiritual courts, and put the wretched pastor at perpetual variance with his whole parish.  But, as they have hitherto stood, a clergyman established in a competent living is not under the necessity of being so sharp, vigilant, and exacting.  On the contrary, it is well known and allowed, that the Clergy round the kingdom think themselves well treated, if they lose only one single third of their legal demands.

The honourable House may perhaps be inclined to conceive, that my lords the bishops enjoy as ample a power, both spiritual and temporal, as will fully suffice to answer every branch of their office; that they want no laws to regulate the conduct of those clergymen, over whom they preside; that if non-residence be a grievance, it is the patron’s fault, who makes not a better choice, or caused the plurality.  That if the general impartial character of persons chosen into the Church had been more regarded, and the motive of party, alliance, kindred, flatterers, ill judgment, or personal favour regarded less, there would be fewer complaints of non-residence, neglect of care, blameable behaviour, or any other part of misconduct, not to mention ignorance and stupidity.

I could name certain gentlemen of the gown, whose awkward, spruce, prim, sneering, and smirking countenances, the very tone of their voices, and an ungainly strut in their walk, without one single talent for any one office, have contrived to get good preferment by the mere force of flattery and cringing:  for which two virtues (the only two virtues they pretend to) they were, however, utterly unqualified.  And whom, if I were in power, although they were my nephews or had married my nieces, I could never in point of good conscience or honour, have recommended to a curacy in Connaught.