23.  If a guest declines a dish, he need give no reason.  “No, I thank you,” is quite sufficient.  The host or hostess should not insist upon guests’ partaking of particular dishes, nor put anything upon their plates which they have declined.

THE TABLE.—­None will deny that the appearance of the table affects one’s enjoyment of the food upon it.  A well-appointed table with its cloth, though coarse in texture, perfectly clean and neatly laid, its glass and china bright and shining, and the silver showing by its glistening surface evidence of frequent polishings, gives far more comfort and enjoyment than one where little attention is given to neatness, order, or taste.  In many families, effort is made to secure all these important accessories when guests have been invited; but for common use, anything is considered “good enough for just one’s own folks.”  This ought not to be, and mothers who permit such a course, need not be surprised if their children exhibit a lack of self-respect and genuineness as well as awkwardness and neglect of manners.

The table around which the family meals are taken, ought to be at all times the model of what it should be when surrounded by guests.  As a writer has well said, “There is no silent educator in the household that has higher rank than the table.  Surrounded each day by the family who are eager for refreshment of body and spirit, its impressions sink deep; and its influences for good or ill form no mean part of the warp and woof of our lives.  Its fresh damask, bright silver, glass, and china, give beautiful lessons in neatness, order, and taste; its damask soiled, rumpled, and torn, its silver dingy, its glass cloudy, and china nicked, annoy and vex us at first, and then instill their lessons of carelessness and disorder.  An attractive, well-ordered table is an incentive to good manners, and being a place where one is incited to linger, it tends to control the bad habits of fast eating; while, on the contrary, an uninviting, disorderly table gives license to bad manners, and encourages the haste which is proverbial among Americans.  The woman, then, who looks after her table in these particulars, is not doing trivial work, for it rests with her to give silently these good or bad lessons in manners and morals to her household as they surround the daily board.”

A well-appointed table requires very little time and labor.  No pretense or ostentation is necessary; neatness and simplicity are far more pleasing.

SETTING THE TABLE.—­Lay a piece of double-faced canton flannel underneath the tablecloth.  Even coarse napery will present a much better appearance with a sub-cover than if spread directly upon the table.  It will likewise lessen noise in changing courses and the likelihood of injury to the table from hot dishes.  Spread the tablecloth evenly, without wrinkles, and so that the center fold shall be exactly in the middle, parallel with the sides of the table.