I wish you to take fifty pieces of artillery and crush that force, which is the Federal right.  Can you do it?” I can scarcely describe my feelings as I again took my glasses, and made an even more careful examination.  I at once saw such an attempt must fail.  More than fifty guns were unlimbered and ready for action, strongly supported by dense lines of infantry and strong skirmish lines, advantageously posted.  The ground was unfavourable for the location of artillery on the Confederate side, for, to be effective, the guns would have to move up close to the Federal lines, and that, too, under fire of both infantry and artillery.  I could not bring myself to say all that I felt and knew.  I said, “Yes, General; where will I get the fifty guns?” He said, “How many have you?” I replied, “About twelve out of the thirty I carried into the action the day before.” (My losses had been very great in men, horses, and carriages.) He said, “I can furnish you some, and General Lee says he can furnish some.”  I replied, “Shall I go for the guns?” “No, not yet,” he replied.  “Colonel Lee, can you crush the Federal right with fifty guns?” I said, “General, I can try.  I can do it if anyone can.”  He replied, “That is not what I asked you, sir.  If I give you fifty guns, can you crush the Federal right?” I evaded the question again and again, but he pressed it home.  Finally I said, “General, you seem to be more intent upon my giving you my technical opinion as an artillery officer, than upon my going after the guns and making the attempt.”  “Yes, sir,” he replied, “and I want your positive opinion, yes or no.”  I felt that a great crisis was upon me, and I could not evade it.  I again took my glasses and made another examination.  I waited a good while, with Jackson watching me intently.

“I said, “General, it cannot be done with fifty guns and the troops you have near here.”  In an instant he said, “Let us ride back, Colonel.”  I felt that I had positively shown a lack of nerve, and with considerable emotion begged that I might be allowed to make the attempt, saying, “General, you forced me to say what I did unwillingly.  If you give the fifty guns to any other artillery officer, I am ruined for life.  I promise you I will fight the guns to the last extremity, if you will only let me command them.”  Jackson was quiet, seemed sorry for me, and said, “It is all right, Colonel.  Everybody knows you are a brave officer and would fight the guns well,” or words to that effect.  We soon reached the spot from which we started.  He said, “Colonel, go to General Lee, and tell him what has occurred since you reported to me.  Describe our ride to the hill, your examination of the Federal position, and my conversation about your crushing the Federal right with fifty guns, and my forcing you to give your opinion.”

“With feelings such as I never had before, nor ever expect to have again, I returned to General Lee, and gave a detailed account of my visit to General Jackson, closing with the account of my being forced to give my opinion as to the possibility of success.  I saw a shade come over General Lee’s face, and he said, “Colonel, go and join your command.”