“The customer didn’t know what to do.

“‘Well?’ says the Majoress, sharp and businesslike.

“The young feller jumped.

“‘I beg your pardon,’ says he.  ‘I’d like a box of matches.’

“The Majoress shook her head.

“‘People don’t always get what they like in this world,’ says she.

“‘No,’ says the young feller.  ‘No, ma’am.’  And then come an awkward silence.

“The Majoress still shook her head.

“‘This is a sad world,’ she says.

“‘Yes, ma’am,’ says the young feller, edgin’ for the door.

“‘But you can have the matches,’ says she.

“With that she hit him square between the eyes with a ten-cent box.  The young feller drew himself up proud.

“‘I don’t come in here to get insulted,’ says he.

“The Majoress resumed her mysterious smile.

“‘Why not?’ says she.

“The young feller opened his mouth twice, but nothin’ to suit the occasion seemed to occur to him.  He wheeled and tried to walk off dignified, but the matches snappin’ under his feet spoiled the effect.

“‘By-by!’ says the Majoress; ‘come again!’

“She grabbed a tray of mouth-organs and heaved it after him; they scattered like a shrapnel shell.  The young feller didn’t wait to close the door.  We heard him gallopin’ up the board walk like he was needin’ fresh air.  We stood stock still for a matter of five seconds, I reckon; Hadds and me scart to move, and the Majoress with her brow wrinkled in thought.  All of a suddent, with no more warnin’ than a streak of lightnin’, she burst out cryin’.  ’Oh, oh, oh!’ says she, ‘how I have been deceived in men!’ Then to relieve her feelin’s she got to work with both hands.

“There was a genuine Sand-hill cloudburst of hair-brushes and combs, porous plasters, tooth-powder, tooth-brushes, pomade, soap, Jew’s-harps, playin’-cards and the old Boy knows what all.  It struck me then what a waste of time it was for a citizen to get loaded and tear the linin’ out of a saloon; the place where you can really get the worth of your time and money is a drug store.  Hadds and me made one desp’rate plunge for her through the terrific fire she kept up.  I don’t suppose that lady could hit a barn with a rock, unless she was inside of it, under ordinary conditions; but I’ll bet she didn’t miss one out of a possible ten that night.  She caught me under the eye with a mouth-organ, on top of the head with a jar of tooth-powder, whilest smaller articles flew off’n me in all directions.

“Hadds took holt of her hands and talked implorin’.

“‘Please, ma’am!’ says he, ’please?  Don’t throw things around like that!  Remember they cost money!  We can’t sell tooth-brushes after you’ve strewed the floor with ’em!  I ask you please!  Please!’

“‘Villain!’ says she haughtily.  ’How dast you put your evil hands on me?’