“One night it happened Bitter Water Simpson was borne on the wings of evening to my place of business, and he calculated that the last two cards in the box would come out, queen first, trey next.  He was so sure he inquired about the theory of limits.

“‘The limit,’ says I, ’is the clothes and contents, body and immortal soul of E. G. W. Scraggs.  You slam your wad down and I’ll cash it.’

“It had occurred to me there was no use foolin’ longer.  If I busted this gun-fighter I went into the drug business; if he busted me I’d take a walk.

“He laid down one thousand dollars’ worth of Government promises, and I took a long breath, drew forth, first trey, next queen, removed his money from the table with a light, sure touch, threw the layout in the stove, blew out the lamp, remarked that the bank was closed, and stood prepared to deal in chemicals instead of playin’-cards.

“Simpson was surprised.  ‘Ain’t I goin’ to get satisfaction?’ says he.

“‘If it’s to be had on the prescription counter you do,’ says I.  ‘Otherwise, I prefer to stay satisfied myself.’

“It would have been better if he’d refrained from abusing me.  I was younger then, and while not in the least quarrelsome, yet such talk as Simpson talked to me was entirely uncalled for.  Besides that, he got festive with guns.  I relieved him of his guns and sat him on the stove till he promised to behave.  Nobody ever heard me kick when them fellers nailed me to the burnin’ oak for anywhere’s up to five hundred a night.  Howsomever, it wound up amiable; I staked Simmy to a new pair of pants, and kept him in spendin’ money till ridin’ again appeared among the possibilities.  I never could get used to people pullin’ guns on me.

“So, then, there was a drug store goin’ in no time.  Both me and Hadds was happy as could be, and workin’ like a pair of mules.  When we had things fixed, and a sign ‘Hadds & Scraggs’ in gold letters four foot high, I felt I really was a prominent citizen.  But dear friends and brothers, always there’s somebody handy with a fly to stick in your ointment.  Once I went down street to see how that sign looked a little ways off, and up rides a puncher.

“‘Hadds & Scraggs!’ says he:  ’I wonder what kind of merchandise them is?  Well, I must take a Hadds and a Scraggs home to show the boys.’

“He knocked every bit of poetry out of that sign.  Howsomever, poetry ain’t the chief business of a drug store, and when you come to the practical side we done mighty well.  We got in a line of patent medicines with pretty red and blue labels that took the popular taste.  As there was a minin’ boom over the hill, our line of gold pans and gunpowder went well.  A new seeder brought in some money, and with rubber boots, snowshoes, baseballs, carpenters’ tools, spectacles, lumber, and an agency for a self-binder as side issues, I see myself getting on in the world.

“‘Tweren’t long before nobody’d think of buyin’ a faro layout or a deck of cards elsewhere than at our store, and as for perfumed soap and perfumery, why, I think our feller-citizens must have et the one and drunk the other, for we unloaded by the box and pailful.  When we’d count the kitty nights, ‘Didn’t I tell you?’ Hadds would holler.  ‘Put your feet in my tracks and you’ll wear diamonds!’