“I slapped what I had loose on the counter; he counted it careful and give me my paste-board, just as the engine come a-hissin’ and a-roarin’ in.  Gee, she did look bully to me!  I hadn’t seen a train of cars for two years.  We detained ’em no longer than was necessary to treat the engineer and the rest of the crew proper in the matter of drinks, and I was off, leanin’ back comfortable in the smoker, puffin’ huge and prosperous puffs of real seegar smoke into the air, and with the careless thumb of wealth tucked into the armpit of my vest.  I reckoned I must have dozed, for bimeby the conductor shook me by the arm and says, respectful, ‘We’re nearin’ your station, sir.’

“I looked out, and I see down the track the most lonesome inhabited spot on the face of this earth.  If houses has ghosts I should say that the ghosts of some forty houses that had committed the crime of not bein’ properly built had collected themselves there—­why, even the snow around the cussed things looked second-hand.

“I made up my mind on the instant that I’d never really intended to go there.  But it was too late now.  I didn’t propose to back down before that conductor.

“‘The names of all these little towns is so much alike,’ says I, ‘that I’ve forgot the name of this one already.’

“‘Yes?’ says he, raisin’ his eyebrows.  Of course, as a matter of fact, I hadn’t thought to look at my ticket; but having started on this line I meant to buck through.

“‘Yes,’ says I.  ‘Would you mind giving it to me?’

“‘Oggsouash,’ says he.

“There was silence for a second.

“‘Hog’s wash,’ says I, musin’.  ’Don’t seem like I ort to have forgot that, does it?’

“‘No,’ says he; ‘it don’t.’

“There come a kind of awkward silence again, me thanking the Lord that we was almost there.

“‘Injun name,’ says the conductor.

“‘Sure,’ says I; ’of course; certainly; I remember now distinctly.  What saloon do you recommend?’

“‘Saloon?’ says he, steppin’ back.

“‘Saloon,’ says I, wonderin’ where he found the queerness of my words.

“‘Saloon?’ says he.  ’Why, man, it’s a Prohibition, Presbyterian, Vegetarian Colony.  I didn’t know what to make of your actions when you got aboard, but from your face and clothes I supposed you was one of them ministers coming to scare the kids to death for a Christmas present.  Ain’t you one of ’em?’

“‘I’m a sort—­sort of connection,’ says I with my expirin’ breath.

“He looked at me as if he couldn’t quite see the connection.  ‘Well,’ says he, ‘here we are, and they’re expectin’ you, for there’s a lady waitin’ on the platform.’

“‘A lady?’ says I, risin’ from my tomb.  I’d begun to think before there was truth in the sayin’, ’You can’t win at two games on the same day,’ but when I heard there was a lady waitin’ for me—­well, if there’s any man in this here bull-pen can think what I thought, let him whisper it in confidence, and I’ll make it right with him.