“The bachelor’s horror, the mother’s treasure, and the despotic
    tyrant of the most republican household.”

    “A human flower untouched by the finger of care.”

    “The morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight brawler.”

    “The magic spell by which the gods transform a house into a home.”

    “A bursting bud on the tree of life.”

    “A bold asserter of the rights of free speech.”

    “A tiny, useless mortal, but without which the world would soon be
    at a standstill.”

    “A native of all countries who speaks the language of none.”

    “A mite of a thing that requires a mighty lot of attention.”

    “A daylight charmer and a midnight alarmer.”

    “A wee little specimen of humanity, whose winsome smile makes a
    good man think of the angels.”

    “A curious bud of uncertain blossom.”

    “The most extensive employer of female labor.”

    “That which increases the mother’s toil, decreases the father’s
    cash, and serves as an alarm clock to the neighbors.”

    “It’s a sweet and tiny treasure.”

    “A torment and a tease,”

    “It’s an autocrat and anarchist,”

    “Two awful things to please.”

    “It’s a rest and peace disturber,”

    “With little laughing ways,”

    “It’s a wailing human night alarm,”

    “A terror of your days.”

And this final definition which exactly describes each of our quartette,

  “The sweetest thing God ever made
  And forgot to give wings to.”

To crown the honors which this year were thrust upon me, my political party tendered me the nomination for mayor of the city; but when I ascertained the fact that I would be obliged to bribe the 300 roosters on the fence who held the balance of power, and who must be paid two dollars each to persuade them to come off their perch and vote, I preferred the $600 to the empty honor, and declined.

It is said that dame fortune knocks once at every man’s door, but the old woman sent to mine later, her ugly-faced unmarried daughter, mis-fortune.  At the request of some of the Boston newspapers, I wrote an account for the press of my Florida journey and observations, which attracted much attention and many callers, among whom were the F——­ brothers, of Boston, who painted the attractions of a town of Orange County in such glowing colors, that I was induced to visit said place in summer accompanied by my friend, lawyer S——­ of Newburyport.