He reminded me of the legend, that when the devil took Christ to the top of a high mountain, showed Him all the kingdoms of the earth, and said:  “All these things will I give you to fall down and worship me.”  Suddenly, the face of a Shylock appeared, saying:  “Shentlemen, peeshness ish peeshness, and if you can’t trade, I will take dat offer.”

I mention this little incident hoping it may prove a warning to the unwary who, like myself, may fall among the sharpers of the Modern Athens.  Disgusted with this business experience, and wishing to do good and get good, I advertised, offering $50 for an acceptable position as teacher, and I at once received many responses from thrifty committeemen, and retiring teachers.

I interviewed a clergyman who wanted the reward in advance; but when the time came for him to deliver the goods, he had suddenly decamped in the night to avoid a coat of tar and feathers from indignant parents whose children’s morals had been basely ruined by this wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Others extended itching palms for the money, but failed to secure for me the “sine qua non.”

At last, an impecunious teacher in W——­, who was retiring to accept a “louder” call in Boston, introduced me to his Board as a particular friend whom he had known for many years, (he had never seen me before), and vouched for me as one of the greatest of living instructors.

When the three doctors, constituting the school board, were about to give me a searching examination, which doubtless would have floored me, prearranged calls summoned them to see pretended patients, and on the mercenary pedagogue’s assurance that I was a university graduate, they hastily signed my commission and I was saved.

I shall always remember my two years’ experience in this beautiful town, with much pleasure and pride.  On the opening of the school I found myself looking upon over one hundred of the finest appearing boys and girls I had ever beheld, seated in a noble new hall well equipped with organ and all the apparatus which wealth could procure.

Soon after the opening exercises, the usual trial of the new master commenced, and a stifling, choking odor threw all into convulsions of coughing, almost to strangulation.  Some one had thrown a large quantity of cayenne pepper down the register.  I quietly opened the windows, and when the noxious fumes had passed away, the new principal said: 

“I feel sure that the pleasant outward appearance of my family here is an expression of the inward goodness and honor of you all, and I am confident that the perpetrator of this disagreeable mischief will take pride in removing suspicion from his companions by rising in his seat and apologizing for his thoughtless rudeness.”

A fine, manly looking boy at once arose.  “Come up here, my friend, and let us talk it over,” I said, and he came and stood by my side.  “We are all brothers and sisters here, and I have no doubt you, Arthur, will now express your regrets for what you have done.”  He did so, the audience applauded, and the incident was closed.