Our English idea of a Comedy of Manners might be imaged in the person of a blowsy country girl—­say Hoyden, the daughter of Sir Tunbelly Clumsy, who, when at home, ’never disobeyed her father except in the eating of green gooseberries’—­transforming to a varnished City madam; with a loud laugh and a mincing step; the crazy ancestress of an accountably fallen descendant.  She bustles prodigiously and is punctually smart in her speech, always in a fluster to escape from Dulness, as they say the dogs on the Nile-banks drink at the river running to avoid the crocodile.  If the monster catches her, as at times he does, she whips him to a froth, so that those who know Dulness only as a thing of ponderousness, shall fail to recognise him in that light and airy shape.

When she has frolicked through her five Acts to surprise you with the information that Mr. Aimwell is converted by a sudden death in the world outside the scenes into Lord Aimwell, and can marry the lady in the light of day, it is to the credit of her vivacious nature that she does not anticipate your calling her Farce.  Five is dignity with a trailing robe; whereas one, two, or three Acts would be short skirts, and degrading.  Advice has been given to householders, that they should follow up the shot at a burglar in the dark by hurling the pistol after it, so that if the bullet misses, the weapon may strike and assure the rascal he has it.  The point of her wit is in this fashion supplemented by the rattle of her tongue, and effectively, according to the testimony of her admirers.  Her wit is at once, like steam in an engine, the motive force and the warning whistle of her headlong course; and it vanishes like the track of steam when she has reached her terminus, never troubling the brains afterwards; a merit that it shares with good wine, to the joy of the Bacchanalians.  As to this wit, it is warlike.  In the neatest hands it is like the sword of the cavalier in the Mall, quick to flash out upon slight provocation, and for a similar office—­to wound.  Commonly its attitude is entirely pugilistic; two blunt fists rallying and countering.  When harmless, as when the word ‘fool’ occurs, or allusions to the state of husband, it has the sound of the smack of harlequin’s wand upon clown, and is to the same extent exhilarating.  Believe that idle empty laughter is the most desirable of recreations, and significant Comedy will seem pale and shallow in comparison.  Our popular idea would be hit by the sculptured group of Laughter holding both his sides, while Comedy pummels, by way of tickling him.  As to a meaning, she holds that it does not conduce to making merry:  you might as well carry cannon on a racing-yacht.  Morality is a duenna to be circumvented.  This was the view of English Comedy of a sagacious essayist, who said that the end of a Comedy would often be the commencement of a Tragedy, were the curtain to rise again on the performers.  In those old days female modesty was protected by a fan, behind which, and it was of a convenient semicircular breadth, the ladies present in the theatre retired at a signal of decorum, to peep, covertly askant, or with the option of so peeping, through a prettily fringed eyelet-hole in the eclipsing arch.