Fail.  Now will she attempt Burr; egad, she has found him out for the weaker vessel.

Isa.  I have no kindness for that Failer; we’ll strike him out, and manage Sir Timorous ourselves.

Burr.  Indeed we won’t.

Isa.  Failer’s a rook; and, besides, he’s such a debauched fellow—­

Burr.  I am ten times worse.

Isa.  Leave it, and him that taught it you:  You have virtuous inclinations, and I would not have you ruin yourself.  He, that serves many mistresses, surfeits on his diet, and grows dead to the whole sex:  ’Tis the folly in the world next long ears and braying.

Burr.  Now I’m sure you have a mind to me; when a woman once falls a preaching, the next thing is ever use and application.

Isa.  Forbear your rudeness!—­

Burr.  Then I am sure you mean to jilt me:  You decline Failer, because he has wit; and you think me such an ass, that you may pack me off so soon as you are married; no, no, I’ll not venture certainties for uncertainties.

Isa.  I can hold no longer;—­Mr Failer, what do you think this fellow was saying of you?

Fail.  Of me, madam?

Isa.  That you were one of the arrantest cowards in Christendom, though you went for one of the Dear Hearts; that your name had been upon more posts than playbills; and that he had been acquainted with you these seven years, drunk and sober, and yet could never fasten a quarrel upon you.

Burr.  Do you believe this, dear heart?

Isa.  If you deny it, I’ll take his sword, and force you to confess it.

Fail.  I vow to gad; this will not do, madam:  You shall not set us at variance so easily; neither shall you have Sir Timorous.

Isa.  No! then mark my words:  I’ll marry him in spite of you; and, which is worse, you shall both work my ends, and I’ll discard you for your pains.

Fail.  You shall not touch a bit of him:  I’ll preserve his humbles from you, egad; they shall be his keeper’s fees[A].

[Footnote A:  The keeper of a royal forest had for his fees the skin, head, umbles (i.e. inwards), chine, and shoulders.  HOLINSHED’S Chronicle, vol. i. p. 104.]

Burr.  She shall cut an atom sooner than divide us. [Exeunt BURR and FAILER.

Enter CONSTANCE.

Const.  I have given ’em the slip in the garden, to come and overhear thee:  No fat overgrown virgin of forty ever offered herself so dog-cheap, or was more despised; methinks now this should mortify thee exceedingly.

Isa.  Not a whit the more for that:  Cousin mine, our sex is not so easily put out of conceit with our own beauties.

Const.  Thou hast lost the opinion of thy honesty, and got nothing in recompence:  Now that’s such an oversight in a lady—­