“I shall have to make up a bit ’eavier when I’m behind the floats,” he ses; “but this is enough for ’ere.  Wot do you think of the imitation of your voice?  I think I’ve got it exact.”

“If you ask me,” I ses, “it sounds like a poll-parrot with a cold in the ’ead.”

“And now for your walk,” he ses, looking as pleased as if I’d said something else.  “Come to the door and see me go up the wharf.”

I didn’t like to hurt ‘is feelings, but I thought I should ha’ bust.  He walked up that wharf like a dancing-bear in a pair of trousers too tight for it, but ’e was so pleased with ’imself that I didn’t like to tell ’im so.  He went up and down two or three times, and I never saw anything so ridikerlous in my life.

“That’s all very well for us,” he ses; “but wot about other people?  That’s wot I want to know.  I’ll go and ’ave a drink, and see whether anybody spots me.”

Afore I could stop ’im he started off to the Bull’s Head and went in, while I stood outside and watched ’im.

“‘Arf a pint o’ four ale,” he ses, smacking down a penny.

I see the landlord draw the beer and give it to ’im, but ’e didn’t seem to take no notice of ’im.  Then, just to open ’is eyes a bit, I walked in and put down a penny and asked for a ’arf-pint.

The landlord was just wiping down the counter at the time, and when I gave my order he looked up and stood staring at me with the wet cloth ’eld up in the air.  He didn’t say a word—­not a single word.  He stood there for a moment smiling at us foolish-like, and then ‘e let go o’ the beer-injin, wot ’e was ’olding in ’is left hand, and sat down heavy on the bar floor.  We both put our ’eads over the counter to see wot had ’appened to ’im, and ’e started making the most ’orrible noise I ’ave ever heard in my life.  I wonder it didn’t bring the fire-injins.  The actor-chap bolted out as if he’d been shot, and I was just thinking of follering ’im when the landlord’s wife and ’is two daughters came rushing out and asking me wot I ’ad done to him.

“There—­there—­was two of ’im !” ses the landlord, trembling and holding on to ’is wife’s arm, as they helped ’im up and got ’im in the chair.  “Two of ’im!”

“Two of wot?” ses his wife.

“Two—­two watchmen,” ses the landlord; “both exac’ly alike and both asking for ‘arf a pint o’ four ale.”

“Yes, yes,” ses ’is wife.

“You come and lay down, pa,” ses the gals.  “I tell you there was,” ses the landlord, getting ’is colour back, with temper.

“Yes, yes; I know all about it,” ses ’is wife.  “You come inside for a bit; and, Gertie, you bring your father in a soda—­a large soda.”

They got ‘im in arter a lot o’ trouble; but three times ’e came back as far as the door, ’olding on to them, and taking a little peep at me.  The last time he shook his ’ead at me, and said if I did it agin I could go and get my ’arf-pints somewhere else.