As our taxi drew up before the portals of Alma Mater the first person we saw, standing on the steps of the porter’s lodge, was Parsons.  He was as Olympian as ever.  As soon as you saw him you felt that, though they might abolish compulsory Greek or introduce a Finance Tripos, they would never be able to subdue the ancient spirit of the University.  A single glimpse of Parsons, standing erect in all his traditional glory, showed up people like Mr. H.G.  Wells in their true perspective in a moment.  It did one good.

We approached him.  “Good afternoon, Parsons,” we said, with a brave attempt at sang-froid.

Parsons regarded us.  “Good afternoon, Mr. Jones,” he said to me.  Then his eyes rested on Biffin.  “Good afternoon, Sir,” he said.

Biffin nudged me, “He’s forgotten me,” he whispered.  Parsons continued to subject him to an implacable scrutiny.  At length he spoke again.  “As to your question, Mr. Biffin, which I have had no earlier opportunity of answering, I may say that what you were pleased to allude to as my whiskers—­a colloquialism I do not myself employ—­are entirely impervious to and unaffected by any climatic variations whatsoever.  Your rooms, Sir, are on Staircase B.”

* * * * *

True hospitality.

    “Lecture by Rev. W. ——.  ’The Dragon, The Beast and The False
    Prophet.’  All welcome.”—­Scotsman.

* * * * *

“Scotch reels, corner dances, and waltzes were favourites at the Masons’ ball on Tuesday evening.  Dancers fought shy of the fog-trot which has proved so popular at other dances.”—­Scots Paper.

Perhaps they were afraid of missing their steps in the dark.

* * * * *

“Detroit to-day completed its first year as the world’s largest ‘dry’ city.  The city has prospered during the past year both financially and industrially.  Murders, suicides, embezzlements, assaults, robberies and drunkenness were reduced by half.”—­Daily Mail.

The record of drunkenness seems still rather high for a teetotal city.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A cautious dictator.

President Wilson (dictating a message to the American Nation).  “At last we may Fairly say that the Dove of Peace has sighted dry land.” (Pauses).  “One moment—­I’m not quite sure they’ll like that word ‘dry.’”

[The New York World asserts that President WILSON has promised to set aside the Prohibition Law if he finds that popular opinion is opposed to it.]]

* * * * *