***

A fine specimen of the rare white female dolphin, a very infrequent visitor to our shores, has been killed off Yarmouth.  We’ll learn white female dolphins to visit us!

***

The National Historical Society have cabled to Mr. Wilson that they are supporting Italy’s claim to Fiume.  It is only fair to point out that Mr. Smith of Norwood has not yet reached a decision on the point.

***

A Sinn Fein M.P. has been recaptured at Finglas, co.  Dublin.  It would be interesting to know why.

***

The Board of Agriculture are of the opinion that rabies might be spread by rats.  In view of this there is some talk of calling upon householders to muzzle their rats.

***

According to a Sunday paper a husband recently stated that a former lodger ran away with his wife.  She was a German, and nobody can understand why they ran.

***

An anarchist arrested in Holland with a bomb in his possession explained that it was for the ex-Kaiser.  We have since been informed that the retired monarch denies that he ever placed such an order with the gentleman.

***

A well-known golf club has recently engaged a totally deaf caddy.  The idea is to induce more clergymen to join the club.

***

As no joke about the Isle of Wight Railway has appeared in any comic paper for at least a month, it is supposed that either a new engine has been bought or that the old one has been thoroughly overhauled.

***

A picture post-card sent off in 1910 has just arrived at its destination.  It is presumed that one of the sorters who originally handled it is breaking up his collection.

***

It will take ten years, says a Post Office official, to replace the present telephone system with automatic exchanges.  Persons who have already registered calls are urged not to make too much of this slight additional delay.

***

Every one, says the Secretary of the National Federation of Fish Friers, wants the trade to be a respectable one.  On the other hand it is just that smack which it has of Oriental debauchery that makes it appeal so strongly to the idle rich.

***

Salmon taken from some parts of the Tyne are alleged to smell of petrol and taste like tar.  Otherwise they are quite all right.

***

An American doctor states that British people sleep too much.  No blame, however, attaches to America.  After all, she invented the gramophone.

***

“The end of the dog,” says a contemporary, “is in sight.”  Then it can’t be a dachshund.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  Protect our protectors.

Barbed wire-mesh overalls designed to prevent the police from striking
as A protest against having to intern UNMUZZLED dogs.]