it might
  Worry on middlin’ wal with the North in the right. 
  We might ha’ ben now jest ez prosp’rous ez France,
  Where politikle enterprise hez a fair chance,
  An’ the people is heppy an’ proud et this hour,
  Long ez they hev the votes, to let Nap hev the power;
  But our folks they went an’ believed wut we’d told ’em,
  An’, the flag once insulted, no mortle could hold ’em. 
  ‘T wuz pervokin’ jest when we wuz cert’in to win,—­
  An’ I, for one, wunt trust the masses agin: 
  For a people thet knows much ain’t fit to be free
  In the self-cockin’, back-action style o’ J.D.

  I can’t believe now but wut half on’t is lies;
  For who’d thought the North wuz a-goin’ to rise,
  Or take the pervokin’est kin’ of a stump,
  ‘Thout’t wuz sunthin’ ez pressin’ ez Gabr’el’s las’ trump? 
  Or who’d ha’ supposed, arter sech swell an’ bluster
  ’Bout the lick-ary-ten-on-ye fighters they’d muster,
  Raised by hand on briled lightnin’, ez op’lent ’z you please
  In a primitive furrest o’ femmily-trees,
  Who’d ha’ thought thet them Southerners ever ’ud show
  Starns with pedigrees to ’em like theirn to the foe,
  Or, when the vamosin’ come, ever to find
  Nat’ral masters in front an’ mean white folks behind? 
  By ginger, ef I’d ha’ known half I know now,
  When I wuz to Congress, I wouldn’t, I swow,
  Hev let ’em cair on so high-minded an’ sarsy,
  ‘Thout some show o’ wut you may call vicy-varsy. 
  To be sure, we wuz under a contrac’ jes’ then
  To be dreffle forbearin’ towards Southun men;
  We hed to go sheers in preservin’ the bellance: 
  An’ ez they seemed to feel they wuz wastin’ their tellents
  ’Thout some un to kick, ’t warn’t more ’n proper, you know,
  Each should funnish his part; an’ sence they found the toe,
  An’ we wuzn’t cherubs—­wal, we found the buffer,
  For fear thet the Compromise System should suffer.

  I wun’t say the plan hed n’t onpleasant featurs,—­
  For men are perverse an’ onreasonin’ creaturs,
  An’ forgit thet in this life ’t ain’t likely to heppen
  Their own privit fancy should oltus be cappen,—­
  But it worked jest ez smooth ez the key of a safe,
  An’ the gret Union bearins played free from all chafe. 
  They warn’t hard to suit, ef they hed their own way;
  An’ we (thet is, some on us) made the thing pay: 
  ’T wuz a fair give-an’-take out of Uncle Sam’s heap;
  Ef they took wut warn’t theirn, wut we give come ez cheap;
  The elect gut the offices down to tidewaiter,
  The people took skinnin’ ez mild ez a tater,
  Seemed to choose who they wanted tu, footed the bills,
  An’ felt kind o’ ‘z though they wuz havin’ their wills,
  Which kep’ ’em ez harmless an’ clerfle ez crickets,
  While all we invested wuz names on the tickets: 
  Wal, ther’ ‘s nothin’ for folks fond o’ lib’ral consumption,
  Free o’ charge, like democ’acy tempered with gumption!