Annie Besant eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 339 pages of information about Annie Besant.

Annie Besant eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 339 pages of information about Annie Besant.
Political Status of Women,” and wrote thereon a paper.  But it was a very nervous person who presented herself at the Co-operative Institute on that August evening.  When a visit to the dentist is made, and one stands on the steps outside, desiring to run away ere the neat little boy in buttons opens the door and beams on one with a smile of compassionate superiority and implike triumph, then the world seems dark and life is as a huge blunder.  But all such feelings are poor and weak as compared with the sinking of the heart and the trembling of the knees which seize upon the unhappy lecturer as he advances towards his first audience, and as before his eyes rises a ghastly vision of a tongue-tied would-be lecturer, facing rows of listening faces, listening to—­silence.  But to my surprise all this miserable feeling vanished the moment I was on my feet and was looking at the faces before me.  I felt no tremor of nervousness from the first word to the last, and as I heard my own voice ring out over the attentive listeners I was conscious of power and of pleasure, not of fear.  And from that day to this my experience has been the same; before a lecture I am horribly nervous, wishing myself at the ends of the earth, heart beating violently, and sometimes overcome by deadly sickness.  Once on my feet, I feel perfectly at my ease, ruler of the crowd, master of myself.  I often jeer at myself mentally as I feel myself throbbing and fearful, knowing that when I stand up I shall be all right, and yet I cannot conquer the physical terror and trembling, illusory as I know them to be.  People often say to me, “You look too ill to go on the platform.”  And I smile feebly and say I am all right, and I often fancy that the more miserably nervous I am in the ante-room, the better I speak when once on the platform.  My second lecture was delivered on September 27th, at Mr. Moncure D. Conway’s Chapel, in St. Paul’s Road, Camden Town, and redelivered a few weeks later at a Unitarian Chapel, where the Rev. Peter Dean was minister.  This was on the “True Basis of Morality,” and was later printed as a pamphlet, which attained a wide circulation.  This was all I did in the way of speaking in 1874, but I took silent part in an electioneering struggle at Northampton, where a seat for the House of Commons had fallen vacant by the death of Mr. Charles Gilpin.  Mr. Bradlaugh had contested the borough as a Radical in 1868, obtaining 1,086 votes, and again in February, 1874, when he received 1,653; of these no less than 1,060 were plumpers, while his four opponents had only 113, 64, 21 and 12 plumpers respectively; this band formed the compact and personally loyal following which was to win the seat for its chief in 1880, after twelve years of steady struggle, and to return him over and over again to Parliament during the long contest which followed his election, and which ended in his final triumph.  They never wavered in their allegiance to “our Charlie,” but stood by him through evil report
Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Annie Besant from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.