THUS FRESHFIELD AND I HAVE EACH SECURED THE FULL SEVEN DAYS’
ATTENDANCE BY A DEVICE PLEASING TO ALL CONCERNED. AFTER LOCKING UP
THE MELBA AND GEORGE ROBEY RECORDS ON WEDNESDAY MORNINGS AND WITH
THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE PIANO IS PAST SERIOUS INJURY, I DEPART FOR
FRESHFIELD’S (VIA THE CLUB FOR LUNCH) EACH WEEK WITH A LIGHT HEART.

MY COLLABORATOR IS ALL FOR KEEPING THIS SOLUTION OF A HARASSING
PROBLEM TO OURSELVES.  I SAY “NO.”  THE GENERAL ADOPTION OF SUCH A
SCHEME, WITH ALTERATIONS TO SUIT INDIVIDUAL CASES, WOULD, I THINK, BE
A NAIL IN THE COFFIN OF BOLSHEVISM IN THE HOME.

* * * * *

    MR. WILSON RUBS IT IN.

    “THE ECHO DE PARIS SAYS, ’MR. WILSON BELIEVES HE CAN PLAY
    THE ROLE OF THE POPES OF THE MIDDLE AGES.  IN THE ECLAT OF
    HIS PUBLIC MESSAGES HE TRIES TO SET PEOPLES AGAINST
    GOVERNMENTS.’”—­SCOTS PAPER.

* * * * *

    “GENERAL MONASH MAKING AN IMPOSING FIGURE ON HIS GREY
    HORSE, WHERE HE RODE WITH GENERAL HOBBS AND THREE
    BRIGADIERS.”—­TIMES.

THE R.S.P.C.A.  MUST LOOK INTO THIS.

* * * * *

    “GOLF BATTLE OF THE SEXES.

    THE LATEST JACK JOHNSON STORY IS THAT HE IS TRAINING IN MEXICO
    CITY FOR A SERIES OF FIGHTS, WHICH WILL TAKE PLACE IN THE
    BULL-RING.

    LADIES:  MISS CECIL LEITCH, MISS CHUBB, MISS BARRY, MRS.
    MCNAIR, MRS. JILLARD, MRS. F.W.  BROWN, MISS JONES PARKER AND
    MRS. WILLOCK POLLEN.”—­DAILY SKETCH.

WE ARE RATHER SORRY FOR MASSA JOHNSON.

* * * * *

[ILLUSTRATION:  BORED CADET (IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY). “LET’S SHOVE OFF NOW, MATER.  HATE HANGIN’ ROUND A PLACE WHERE ONE MIGHT BE BURIED SOME DAY!”]

* * * * *

THE CHURCH AND PEACE.

The acquiescence of the Coventry Peace Celebration Committee in the Bishop of COVENTRY’S view that the Lady GODIVA of their pageant should be fully clothed is leading not only to many innovations in the representations of history all over the country, but to a recrudescence of ecclesiastical power which is affording the liveliest satisfaction to Lord HUGH CECIL.

For already several other divines have followed suit.  It is agreeable, for example, to the very reasonable wishes of the DEAN and Chapter of Westminster that the Westminster Peace Celebration Committee have decided that NELL GWYNN shall either be excluded from the Whitehall procession altogether or shall figure as a Mildmay deaconess.

Acting under the influence of a local curate, the Athelney Peace Celebration Committee have unanimously resolved that in these hard times, when (as the curate pointed out) food is not too plentiful, it would be better if KING ALFRED cooked the cakes properly and they were afterwards distributed.