“Ho, there!” I cried within the wooden hutch;
    “Hammersmith House—­a most absurd dilemma—­
  His lordship’s motor-cars have strained a clutch,
    And taxis are required at 8 pip emma
  (Six of your finest and most up-to-date,
    With no false starts and no foul petrol leaking),
  To bear a certain party of the great
  To the Melpomene at ten past eight. 
      Thompson, the butler, speaking.”

  They came.  And I at the appointed hour
    Watched them arrive before the muted dwelling
  And heard some speeches full of pith and power
    And saw them turn and go with anger swelling;
  Save only one who, spite his rude dismay,
    Like a whipped Hun, made traffic of his sorrow
  And shouted, “Taxi, Sir?” I answered “Nay,
  I do not need you, jarvey, but I may
      Be disengaged to-morrow.”

  EVOE.

* * * * *

    THE PUNISHMENT OF GREED.

    “Large quantity of new Block Chocolate offered cheap; cause
    ill-health.”—­Manchester Evening News.

* * * * *

    “Miss M. Albanesi, daughter of the well-known singer, Mme.
    Albanesi.”—­Daily Paper.

Not to be confused with Mme. ALBANI, the popular novelist.

* * * * *

    “The Portuguese retreated a step.  His head flew to his
    hip-pocket.  But he was a fraction of a second too late.”—­The
    Scout.

Many a slip ’twixt the head and the hip.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  GHOSTS AT VERSAILLES.]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

Tuesday, April 29th.—­When the House of Commons re-assembled this afternoon a good many gaps were noticeable on the green benches.  They were not due, however, to the New Year’s Honours, which made a belated appearance this morning, for not a single Member of Parliament has been ennobled.  The notion that not one of the seven hundred is worthy of elevation is, of course, unthinkable.  But by-elections are so chancy.

Mr. JEREMIAH MACVEAGH still has some difficulty in realising that the Irish centre of gravity has shifted from Westminster to Dublin.  He indignantly refused to accept an answer to one of his questions from little Mr. PRATT, and loudly demanded the corporeal presence of the CHIEF SECRETARY.  Mr. MACPHERSON, however, considers that his duty requires him to remain in Ireland, where Mr. MACVEAGH’S seventy Sinn Fein colleagues are keeping him sufficiently busy.