And alone, the only mourner, this brave, heart-stricken girl followed the remains of her beloved father to the grave.

When all was over she went back to Philadelphia, where she remained two or three months, and then returned to Charleston.

During the season of family mourning which followed, having nothing especial to do, Sarah became more than ever concerned about her spiritual welfare.  She constantly deplored her lukewarmness, and regarded herself as standing on the edge of a precipice from which she had no power to withdraw.  The subject of slavery began now also to agitate her mind.  After her residence in Philadelphia, where doubtless she had to listen to some sharp reflections on the Southern institution, it seemed more than ever abhorrent to her, but it does not appear that she gave utterance to her feelings on more than one or two occasions.  Even her diary contains only a slight and occasional reference to them.  She saw, she says, how useless it was to discuss the subject, as even Angelina, the child of her own training, could see nothing wrong in the mere fact of slave-holding, if the slaves were kindly treated.

Her brother Thomas, to whom she might have opened her overburdened heart, and received from his affection and good sense, comfort and strength, she saw little of; besides, he was a slave-owner, and among his numerous reform theories of education, politics, and religion, he does not seem to have thought of touching slavery.  He was a leading member of the bar, very busy with his literary work, had a wife and family, and resided out of the city.

Alone, therefore, Sarah brooded over her trials, and those of the slaves, “until they became like a canker, incessantly gnawing.”  Upon the latter she could only look as one in bonds herself, powerless to prevent or ameliorate them.  Her sole consolation was teaching the objects of her compassion, within the lawful restrictions, whenever she could find the opportunity.  But she began to look upon the world as a wilderness of desolation and suffering, and herself as the most miserable of sinners, fast hastening to destruction.  In this frame of mind she was induced to listen to the doctrine of universal salvation, and eagerly adopted it, hoping thereby to find relief from her doubts and fears.  Her mother discovered this with horror, and, trembling for her daughter’s safety, she aroused herself to argue so strongly against what she termed the false and awful doctrine, that, though Sarah refused to acknowledge the force of all she said, it had its effect, and she gradually lost her hold on her new belief.  But losing that, she lost all hope.  “Wormwood and gall” were her portion, and, while she fulfilled the outward duties of religion, dreariness and settled despondency took possession of her mind.  She writes: