“I regard this as the greatest blessing, next to my conversion, I have ever received from God, and I think if all my future life is passed in affliction this mercy alone should make me willingly, yea, cheerfully and joyously, submit to the chastisements of the Lord.”

During their stay in Philadelphia, she had hoped for her father’s recovery, but when, by the doctor’s advice, they went to Long Branch, and she saw how weak and ill he was, this hope forsook her, and she describes her agony as something never to be effaced from her memory.  Doubtless this was intensified by her lone and friendless position.  They were in a tavern, without one human being to soothe them or sympathize with them.  “But,” she writes, “let me here acknowledge the mercy of that Being whose everlasting arms supported me in this hour of suffering.  After the first burst of grief I became calm, and felt an assurance that He in whom I trusted would never leave nor forsake me, and that I would have strength given me, even to the performance of the last sad duties.  But the end was not yet; the disease fluctuated, some days arousing a gleam of hope, only to be extinguished by the next day’s weakness.  Alas!  I was compelled to see that death was certainly, though slowly, approaching, and all feeling for my own suffering was sunk in anxiety to contribute to my father’s comfort, and smooth his passage to the grave.  And, blessed be God, I was not only able to minister to many of his temporal wants, but permitted to strengthen his hopes of a happy immortality.  I prayed with him and read to him, and I cannot recollect hearing an impatient expression from him during his whole illness, or a wish that his sufferings might be lessened or abridged.  He often tried to conceal his bodily pain, and to soothe me by every appearance of cheerful piety.  Thus he lingered until the 6th of August, when he grew visibly worse.  Many incoherent expressions escaped him, but even then how tenderly he spoke of me, I ever shall remember....  About eight o’clock I moved him to his own bed, and, sitting down, prepared to watch by him.  He entreated me to lie down, and I told him when he slept I would.

“‘Oh, God,’ he exclaimed with fervent energy, ’how sweet to sleep and wake in heaven!’ This last desire was realized.  He clasped one of my hands, and as I bent over him and arranged his pillow he put his arm around me.  I did not stir; apparently he slept.  But the relaxed grasp, the dewy coldness, the damps of death which stood upon his forehead, all told me that he was hastening fast to Jesus.  Alone, at the hour of midnight, I sat by this bed of death.  My eyes were fixed on that face whose calmness seemed to say, ‘I rest in peace.’  A gentle pressure of the hand, and a scarcely audible respiration, alone indicated that life was not extinct; at length that pressure ceased, and the strained ear could no longer hear a breath.  I continued gazing on the lifeless form, closed his eyes and kissed him.  His spirit, freed from the shackles of mortality, had sprung to its source, the bosom of his God.  I passed the rest of the night alone.”