***

The public has been warned by Scotland Yard against a man calling himself Sid Smith.  We wouldn’t do it ourselves, of course, but we are strongly opposed to the police interfering in what is after all purely a matter of personal taste.

***

The bones of st. George have been discovered near Beersheba in Palestine by members of our Expeditionary Force.  This should dispel the popular delusion which has always ascribed the last resting-place of England’s patron saint to the present site of the Mint.

***

“War bread will keep for a week,” stated Mr. Clynes for the Ministry of Food.  Of course you can keep it longer if you are collecting curios.

***

It is announced that all salaries in the German Diplomatic Service have been reduced.  We always said that frightfulness didn’t really pay.

***

German women have been asked to place their hair at the disposal of the authorities.  If they do not care to sacrifice their own hair they can just send along the handful or two which they collect in the course of waiting in the butter queue.

***

Hamlet has been rendered by amateur actors at the Front, all scenery being dispensed with.  If you must dispense with one or the other, why not leave out the acting?

***

“To assist in the breaking-up of grass-land,” we are told, “the Board of Agriculture proposes to allocate a number of horses to agricultural counties.”  The idea of allocating some of our incurable golfers to this purpose does not appear to have suggested itself to our slow-witted authorities.

***

“I have resigned because there is no further need for my services,” said Mr. Kennedy-Jones.  Several politicians are of the opinion that this was not a valid reason.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  First ex-Knut.  “Wouldn’t care to be in blighty now, REG., When it’s rotten form to go in for fancy Teas and that—­what?”

Second ex-Knut.  “Honk!”]

* * * * *

An expansive Smile.

    “Six hundred Square Miles.  British Gains since last
    year.”—­The Statesman (India).

* * * * *

The Berlin Tageblatt says that Herr MIHAELIS in the critical passages measured his words “as carefully as if they were meat rations.”  A wise precaution, in view of the likelihood that he would have to eat them.

* * * * *

From a Cinema advertisement:—­

    “Keeps you on the Edge of your Seats throughout the five acts
    of A story that unfolds itself midst the romantic purloins of
    Italy and England.”—­Austrian Paper.