If thou art she, but oh how fallen, how changed, what an Apostate! how lost to all that’s gay and agreeable!  To be married I find is to be buried alive; I cant conceive it more dismal to be shut up in a Vault to converse with the Shades of my Ancestors, than to be carried down to an old Manor-House in the Country, and confined to the Conversation of a sober Husband and an awkward Chamber-maid.  For Variety I suppose you may entertain yourself with Madam in her Grogram Gown, the Spouse of your Parish Vicar, who has by this time I am sure well furnished you with Receipts for making Salves and Possets, distilling Cordial Waters, making Syrups, and applying Poultices.

Blest Solitude!  I wish thee Joy, my Dear, of thy loved Retirement, which indeed you would perswade me is very agreeable, and different enough from what I have here described:  But, Child, I am afraid thy Brains are a little disordered with Romances and Novels:  After six Months Marriage to hear thee talk of Love, and paint the Country Scenes so softly, is a little extravagant; one would think you lived the Lives of Sylvan Deities, or roved among the Walks of Paradise, like the first happy Pair.  But prythee leave these Whimsies, and come to Town in order to live and talk like other Mortals.  However, as I am extremely interested in your Reputation, I would willingly give you a little good Advice at your first Appearance under the Character of a married Woman:  Tis a little Insolence in me perhaps, to advise a Matron; but I am so afraid you’ll make so silly a Figure as a fond Wife, that I cannot help warning you not to appear in any publick Places with your Husband, and never to saunter about St. James’s Park together:  If you presume to enter the Ring at Hide-Park together, you are ruined for ever; nor must you take the least notice of one another at the Play-house or Opera, unless you would be laughed at for a very loving Couple most happily paired in the Yoke of Wedlock.  I would recommend the Example of an Acquaintance of ours to your Imitation; she is the most negligent and fashionable Wife in the World; she is hardly ever seen in the same Place with her Husband, and if they happen to meet, you would think them perfect Strangers:  She never was heard to name him in his Absence, and takes care he shall never be the Subject of any Discourse that she has a Share in.  I hope you’ propose this Lady as a Pattern, tho I am very much afraid you’ll be so silly to think Portia, &c.  Sabine and Roman Wives much brighter Examples.  I wish it may never come into your Head to imitate those antiquated Creatures so far, as to come into Publick in the Habit as well as Air of a Roman Matron.  You make already the Entertainment at Mrs. Modish’s Tea-Table; she says, she always thought you a discreet Person, and qualified to manage a Family with admirable Prudence:  she dies to see what demure and serious Airs Wedlock has given you, but she says she shall