When Crastin had uttered these Verses with a Tenderness which at once spoke Passion and Respect, Honoria cast a triumphant Glance at Flavia, as exulting in the Elegance of Crastin’s Courtship, and upbraiding her with the Homeliness of Tulip’s. Tulip understood the Reproach, and in Return began to applaud the Wisdom of old amorous Gentlemen, who turned their Mistress’s Imagination as far as possible from what they had long themselves forgot, and ended his Discourse with a sly Commendation of the Doctrine of Platonick Love; at the same time he ran over, with a laughing Eye, Crastin’s thin Legs, meagre Looks, and spare Body.  The old Gentleman immediately left the Room with some Disorder, and the Conversation fell upon untimely Passion, After-Love, and unseasonable Youth. Tulip sung, danced, moved before the Glass, led his Mistress half a Minuet, hummed

  Celia the Fair, in the bloom of Fifteen;

when there came a Servant with a Letter to him, which was as follows.

  SIR,

’I understand very well what you meant by your Mention of Platonick Love.  I shall be glad to meet you immediately in Hide-Park, or behind Montague-House, or attend you to Barn-Elms, [2] or any other fashionable Place that’s fit for a Gentleman to die in, that you shall appoint for,

  Sir, Your most Humble Servant,
  Richard Crastin.

Tulip’s Colour changed at the reading of this Epistle; for which Reason his Mistress snatched it to read the Contents.  While she was doing so Tulip went away, and the Ladies now agreeing in a Common Calamity, bewailed together the Danger of their Lovers.  They immediately undressed to go out, and took Hackneys to prevent Mischief:  but, after alarming all Parts of the Town, Crastin was found by his Widow in his Pumps at Hide-Park, which Appointment Tulip never kept, but made his Escape into the Country. Flavia tears her Hair for his inglorious Safety, curses and despises her Charmer, is fallen in Love with Crastin:  Which is the first Part of the History of the Rival Mother.

R.

[Footnote 1:  Rochester’s ‘Imitations of Horace’, Sat.  I. 10.]

[Footnote 2:  A famous duelling place under elm trees, in a meadow half surrounded by the Thames.]

* * * * *

No. 92.  Friday, June 15, 1711.  Addison.

      ’...  Convivae prope dissentire videntur,
      Poscentes vario multum diversa palato;
      Quid dem?  Quid non dem?’

      Hor.

Looking over the late Packets of Letters which have been sent to me, I found the following one. [1]

  Mr.  SPECTATOR,