’You know very well my Passion for Mrs. Martha, and what a Dance she has led me:  She took me at the Age of Two and Twenty, and dodged with me above Thirty Years.  I have loved her till she is grown as Grey as a Cat, and am with much ado become the Master of her Person, such as it is at present.  She is however in my Eye a very charming old Woman.  We often lament that we did not marry sooner, but she has no Body to blame for it but her self:  You know very well that she would never think of me whilst she had a Tooth in her Head.  I have put the Date of my Passion (Anno Amoris Trigesimo primo) instead of a Posy, on my Wedding-Ring.  I expect you should send me a Congratulatory Letter, or, if you please, an Epithalamium, upon this Occasion.

  Mrs.  Martha’s and
  Yours Eternally,
  SAM HOPEWELL

In order to banish an Evil out of the World, that does not only produce great Uneasiness to private Persons, but has also a very bad Influence on the Publick, I shall endeavour to shew the Folly of Demurrage from two or three Reflections which I earnestly recommend to the Thoughts of my fair Readers.

First of all I would have them seriously think on the Shortness of their Time.  Life is not long enough for a Coquet to play all her Tricks in.  A timorous Woman drops into her Grave before she has done deliberating.  Were the Age of Man the same that it was before the Flood, a Lady might sacrifice half a Century to a Scruple, and be two or three Ages in demurring.  Had she Nine Hundred Years good, she might hold out to the Conversion of the Jews before she thought fit to be prevailed upon.  But, alas! she ought to play her Part in haste, when she considers that she is suddenly to quit the Stage, and make Room for others.

In the second Place, I would desire my Female Readers to consider, that as the Term of Life is short, that of Beauty is much shorter.  The finest Skin wrinkles in a few Years, and loses the Strength of its Colourings so soon, that we have scarce Time to admire it.  I might embellish this Subject with Roses and Rain-bows, and several other ingenious Conceits, which I may possibly reserve for another Opportunity.

There is a third Consideration which I would likewise recommend to a Demurrer, and that is the great Danger of her falling in Love when she is about Threescore, if she cannot satisfie her Doubts and Scruples before that Time.  There is a kind of latter Spring, that sometimes gets into the Blood of an old Woman and turns her into a very odd sort of an Animal.  I would therefore have the Demurrer consider what a strange Figure she will make, if she chances to get over all Difficulties, and comes to a final Resolution, in that unseasonable Part of her Life.