Juv.

Next to the People who want a Place, there are none to be pitied more than those who are solicited for one.  A plain Answer, with a Denial in it, is looked upon as Pride, and a civil Answer as a Promise.

Nothing is more ridiculous than the Pretensions of People upon these Occasions.  Every thing a Man hath suffered, whilst his Enemies were in play, was certainly brought about by the Malice of the opposite Party.  A bad Cause would not have been lost, if such an one had not been upon the Bench; nor a profligate Youth disinherited, if he had not got drunk every Night by toasting an outed Ministry.  I remember a Tory, who having been fined in a Court of Justice for a Prank that deserved the Pillory, desir’d upon the Merit of it to be made a Justice of Peace when his Friends came into Power; and shall never forget a Whig Criminal, who, upon being indicted for a Rape, told his Friends, You see what a Man suffers for sticking to his Principles.

The Truth of it is, the Sufferings of a Man in a Party are of a very doubtful Nature.  When they are such as have promoted a good Cause, and fallen upon a Man undeservedly, they have a Right to be heard and recompensed beyond any other Pretensions.  But when they rise out of Rashness or Indiscretion, and the Pursuit of such Measures as have rather ruined, than promoted the Interest they aim at, (which hath always been the Case of many great Sufferers) they only serve to recommend them to the Children of Violence or Folly.

I have by me a Bundle of Memorials presented by several Cavaliers upon the Restauration of K. Charles II. which may serve as so many Instances, to our present Purpose.

Among several Persons and Pretensions recorded by my Author, he mentions one of a very great Estate, who, for having roasted an Ox whole, and distributed a Hogshead upon K. Charles’s Birth-day, desired to be provided for, as his Majesty in his great Wisdom shall think fit.

Another put in to be Prince Henry’s, Governor, for having dared to drink his Health in the worst of Times.

A Third petitioned for a Colonel’s Commission, for having Cursed Oliver Cromwell, the Day before his Death, on a publick Bowling-Green.

But the most whimsical Petition I have met with is that of B.  B. Esq., who desir’d the Honour of Knighthood, for having Cuckolded Sir T.  W. a notorious Roundhead.

There is likewise the Petition of one, who having let his Beard grow from the Martyrdom of K. Charles the First, till the Restauration of K. Charles the Second, desired, in Consideration thereof, to be made a Privy-Counsellor.

I must not omit a Memorial setting forth, that the Memorialist had, with great dispatch, carried a Letter from a certain Lord to a certain Lord, wherein, as it afterwards appeared, Measures were concerted for the Restauration, and without which he verily believes that happy Revolution had never been effected; who thereupon humbly prays to be made Post-Master-General.