No.

The following Letter requires neither Introduction, nor Answer.

  Mr.  SPECTATOR,

I wonder that in the present Situation of Affairs, you can take Pleasure in writing any thing but News; for, in a Word, who minds any thing else?  The Pleasure of increasing in Knowledge, and learning something new every Hour of Life, is the noblest Entertainment of a Rational Creature.  I have a very good Ear for a Secret, and am naturally of a communicative Temper; by which Means I am capable of doing you great Services in this way.  In order to make my self useful, I am early in the Antichamber, where I thrust my Head into the thick of the Press, and catch the News, at the opening of the Door, while it is warm.  Sometimes I stand by the Beef-Eaters, and take the Buz as it passes by me.  At other times I lay my Ear close to the Wall, and suck in many a valuable Whisper, as it runs in a streight Line from Corner to Corner.  When I am weary with standing, I repair to one of the neighbouring Coffee-houses, where I sit sometimes for a whole Day, and have the News as it comes from Court fresh and fresh.  In short, Sir, I spare no Pains to know how the World goes.  A Piece of News loses its Flavour when it hath been an Hour in the Air.  I love, if I may so speak, to have it fresh from the Tree; and to convey it to my Friends before it is faded.  Accordingly my Expences in Coach-hire make no small Article; which you may believe, when I assure you, that I post away from Coffee-house to Coffee-house, and forestall the Evening-Post by two Hours.  There is a certain Gentleman who hath given me the slip twice or thrice, and hath been beforehand with me at Child’s.  But I have play’d him a Trick.  I have purchas’d a pair of the best Coach-horses I could buy for Money, and now let him out-strip me if he can.  Once more, Mr. SPECTATOR, let me advise you to deal in News.  You may depend upon my Assistance.  But I must break off abruptly, for I have twenty Letters to write.

  Yours in haste,
  Tho.  Quid-nunc.

* * * * *

No. 626.  Monday, November 29, 1714.  Henry Grove.

  ‘—­Dulcique animos novitate tenebo—­’

  Ov.  Met. 1.  I.

I have seen a little Work of a learned Man, [1] consisting of extemporary Speculations, which owed their Birth to the most trifling Occurrences of Life.  His usual Method was, to write down any sudden Start of Thought which arose in his Mind upon the sight of an odd Gesticulation in a Man, any whimsical Mimickry of Reason in a Beast, or whatever appeared remarkable in any Object of the visible Creation.  He was able to moralize upon a Snuff-Box, would flourish eloquently upon a Tucker or a Pair of Ruffles, and draw practical Inferences from a full-bottomed Perriwig.  This I thought fit to mention, by way of Excuse, for my ingenious Correspondent, who hath introduced the following Letter by an Image which, I will beg leave to tell him, is too ridiculous in so serious and noble a Speculation.