it is impossible for me to speak upon any subject
whatsoever, without provoking somebody to say, Oh!
to be sure fine Mrs. such-a-one must be very particularly
acquainted with all that; all the World will contribute
to her Entertainment and Information. Thus,
Sir, I am so handsome, that I murder all who approach
me; so wise, that I want no new Notices; and so
well bred, that I am treated by all that know me
like a Fool, for no one will answer as if I were their
Friend or Companion. Pray, Sir, be pleased to
take the part of us Beauties and Fortunes into your
Consideration, and do not let us be thus flattered
out of our Senses. I have got an Hussey of a Maid,
who is most craftily given to this ill Quality.
I was at first diverted with a certain Absurdity
the Creature was guilty of in every thing she said:
She is a Country Girl, and in the Dialect of the Shire
she was born in, would tell me that every body reckon’d
her Lady had the purest Red and White in the World:
Then she would tell me, I was the most like one
Sisly Dobson in their Town, who made the Miller
make away with himself, and walk afterwards in the
Corn-Field where they used to meet. With all
this, this cunning Hussey can lay Letters in my way,
and put a Billet in my Gloves, and then stand in it
she knows nothing of it. I do not know, from
my Birth to this Day, that I have been ever treated
by any one as I ought; and if it were not for a few
Books which I delight in, I should be at this Hour
a Novice to all common Sense. Would it not
be worth your while to lay down Rules for Behaviour
in this Case, and tell People, that we Fair-ones expect
honest plain Answers as well as other People?
Why must I, good Sir, because I have a good Air,
a fine Complexion, and am in the Bloom of my Years,
be mis-led in all my Actions? and have the Notions
of Good and Ill confounded in my Mind, for no other
Offence, but because I have the Advantages of Beauty
and Fortune? Indeed, Sir, what with the silly
Homage which is paid to us by the sort of People I
have above spoken of, and the utter Negligence which
others have for us, the Conversation of us young
Women of Condition is no other than what must expose
us to Ignorance and Vanity, if not Vice. All this
is humbly submitted to your Spectatorial Wisdom,
by,
SIR, Your humble Servant,
Sharlot Wealthy.
Will’s Coffee-house.
Mr. SPECTATOR,
’Pray, Sir, it will serve to fill up a Paper, if you put in this; which is only to ask, whether that Copy of Verses, which is a Paraphrase of Isaiah, in one of your Speculations, is not written by Mr. Pope? Then you get on another Line, by putting in, with proper Distances, as at the end of a Letter,
I am, Sir,
Your humble Servant,
Abraham Dapperwit.
Mr. Dapperwit,
I am glad to get another Line forward, by saying that
excellent Piece is
Mr. Pope’s; and so, with proper Distances,