But since there [is an Impostor [3]] abroad, who [takes upon him [4]] the Name of this young Gentleman, and would willingly pass for him in the World; to the end that well-meaning Persons may not be imposed upon by [Cheats [5]], I would desire my Readers, when they meet with [this Pretender [6]], to look into his Parentage, and to examine him strictly, whether or no he be remotely allied to TRUTH, and lineally descended from GOOD SENSE; if not, they may conclude him a Counterfeit.  They may likewise distinguish him by a loud and excessive Laughter, in which he seldom gets his Company to join with him.  For, as TRUE HUMOUR generally looks serious, whilst every Body laughs [about him [7]]; FALSE HUMOUR is always laughing, whilst every Body about him looks serious.  I shall only add, if he has not in him a Mixture of both Parents, that is, if he would pass for the Offspring of WIT without MIRTH, or MIRTH without WIT, you may conclude him to be altogether Spurious, and a Cheat.

The Impostor, of whom I am speaking, descends Originally from FALSEHOOD, who was the Mother of NONSENSE, who was brought to Bed of a Son called FRENZY, who Married one of the Daughters of FOLLY, commonly known by the Name of LAUGHTER, on whom he begot that Monstrous Infant of which I have been here speaking.  I shall set down at length the Genealogical Table of FALSE HUMOUR, and, at the same time, place under it the Genealogy of TRUE HUMOUR, that the Reader may at one View behold their different Pedigrees and Relations.

FALSEHOOD.                        TRUTH.
|                              |
NONSENSE.                       GOOD SENSE.
|                              |
FRENZY.=LAUGHTER.                  WIT.=MIRTH.
|                              |
FALSE HUMOUR.                      HUMOUR.

I might extend the Allegory, by mentioning several of the Children of FALSE HUMOUR, who are more in Number than the Sands of the Sea, and might in particular enumerate the many Sons and Daughters which he has begot in this Island.  But as this would be a very invidious Task, I shall only observe in general, that FALSE HUMOUR differs from the TRUE, as a Monkey does from a Man.

First of all, He is exceedingly given to little Apish Tricks and
Buffooneries.

  Secondly, He so much delights in Mimickry, that it is all one to him
  whether he exposes by it Vice and Folly, Luxury and Avarice; or, on
  the contrary, Virtue and Wisdom, Pain and Poverty.

Thirdly, He is wonderfully unlucky, insomuch that he will bite the Hand that feeds him, and endeavour to ridicule both Friends and Foes indifferently.  For having but small Talents, he must be merry where he can, not where he should.

  Fourthly, Being entirely void of Reason, he pursues no Point either
  of Morality or Instruction, but is ludicrous only for the sake of
  being so.

  Fifthly, Being incapable of any thing but Mock-Representations, his
  Ridicule is always Personal, and aimed at the Vicious Man, or the
  Writer; not at the Vice, or at the Writing.