Fire, the next Degree is the Impossible.  Now this is always the Time for fixing the Wager.  But this requires the nicest Management, otherwise very probably the Dispute may arise to the old Determination by Battle.  In these Conceits I have been very fortunate, and have won some Wagers of those who have professedly valued themselves upon Intelligence, and have put themselves to great Charge and Expence to be misinformed considerably sooner than the Rest of the World.

Having got a comfortable Sum by this my Opposition to publick Report, I have brought my self now to so great a Perfection in Inattention, more especially to Party Relations, that at the same time I seem with greedy Ears to devour up the Discourse, I certainly don’t know one Word of it, but pursue my own Course of Thought, whether upon Business or Amusement, with much Tranquility:  I say Inattention, because a late Act of Parliament has secur’d all Party-Lyars from the Penalty of a Wager, [1] and consequently made it unprofitable to attend them.  However, good Breeding obliges a Man to maintain the Figure of the keenest Attention, the true Posture of which in a Coffee-house I take to consist in leaning over a Table, with the Edge of it pressing hard upon your Stomach; for the more Pain the Narration is received with, the more gracious is your bending over:  Besides that the Narrator thinks you forget your Pain by the Pleasure of hearing him.

Fort Knock has occasioned several very perplexed and inelegant Heats and Animosities; and there was one t’other day in a Coffee-house where I was, that took upon him to clear that Business to me, for he said he was there.  I knew him to be that sort of Man that had not strength of Capacity to be inform’d of any thing that depended merely upon his being an Eye-Witness, and therefore was fully satisfied he could give me no Information, for the very same Reason he believed he could, for he was there.  However, I heard him with the same Greediness as Shakespear describes in the following Lines: 

    ’I saw a Smith stand on his Hammer, thus,
    With open Mouth swallowing a Taylor’s News.’

I confess of late I have not been so much amazed at the Declaimers in Coffee-houses as I formerly was, being satisfied that they expect to be rewarded for their Vociferations.  Of these Liars there are two Sorts.  The Genius of the first consists in much Impudence and a strong Memory; the others have added to these Qualifications a good Understanding and smooth Language.  These therefore have only certain Heads, which they are as eloquent upon as they can, and may be call’d Embellishers; the others repeat only what they hear from others as literally as their Parts or Zeal will permit, and are called Reciters.  Here was a Fellow in Town some Years ago, who used to divert himself by telling a Lie at Charing-Cross in the Morning at eight of [the] Clock, and then following it through all