Indeed where any of the Guests are known to measure their Fame or Pleasure by their Glass, proper Exhortations might be used to these to push their Fortunes in this sort of Reputation; but where ’tis unseasonably insisted on to a modest Stranger, this Drench may be said to be swallowed with the same Necessity, as if it had been tendered in the Horn [1] for that purpose, with this aggravating Circumstance, that it distresses the Entertainer’s Guest in the same degree as it relieves his Horses.

To attend without Impatience an Account of five-barr’d Gates, double Ditches, and Precipices, and to survey the Orator with desiring Eyes, is to me extremely difficult, but absolutely necessary, to be upon tolerable Terms with him:  but then the occasional Burstings out into Laughter, is of all other Accomplishments the most requisite.  I confess at present I have not that command of these Convulsions, as is necessary to be good Company; therefore I beg you would publish this Letter, and let me be known all at once for a queer Fellow, and avoided.  It is monstrous to me, that we, who are given to Reading and calm Conversation, should ever be visited by these Roarers:  But they think they themselves, as Neighbours, may come into our Rooms with the same Right, that they and their Dogs hunt in our Grounds.

Your Institution of Clubs I have always admir’d, in which you constantly endeavoured the Union of the metaphorically Defunct, that is such as are neither serviceable to the Busy and Enterprizing part of Mankind, nor entertaining to the Retir’d and Speculative.  There should certainly therefore in each County be established a Club of the Persons whose Conversations I have described, who for their own private, as also the publick Emolument, should exclude, and be excluded all other Society.  Their Attire should be the same with their Huntsmen’s, and none should be admitted into this green Conversation-Piece, except he had broke his Collar-bone thrice.  A broken Rib or two might also admit a Man without the least Opposition.  The President must necessarily have broken his Neck, and have been taken up dead once or twice:  For the more Maims this Brotherhood shall have met with, the easier will their Conversation flow and keep up; and when any one of these vigorous Invalids had finished his Narration of the Collar-bone, this naturally would introduce the History of the Ribs.  Besides, the different Circumstances of their Falls and Fractures would help to prolong and diversify their Relations.  There should also be another Club of such Men, who have not succeeded so well in maiming themselves, but are however in the constant Pursuit of these Accomplishments.  I would by no means be suspected by what I have said to traduce in general the Body of Fox-hunters; for whilst I look upon a reasonable Creature full-speed after a Pack of Dogs, by way of Pleasure, and not of Business, I shall always make honourable mention of it.