That he intends to prepare
himself by Abstinence and thin Diet to be
one of the Company.
That at present he comes into
a Room as if he were an Express from
Abroad.
That he has chosen an Apartment
with a matted Anti-Chamber, to
practise Motion without being
heard.
That he bows, talks, drinks,
eats, and helps himself before a Glass,
to learn to act with Moderation.
That by reason of his luxuriant
Health he is oppressive to Persons
of composed Behaviour.
That he is endeavouring to forget the Word Pshaw, Pshaw.
That he is also weaning himself from his Cane.
That when he has learnt to
live without his said Cane, he will wait
on the Company, &c.
...
The Memorial of John Rhubarb, Esq.,
Sheweth,
That your Petitioner has retired
to the Infirmary, but that he is
in perfect good Health, except
that he has by long Use. and for want
of Discourse, contracted an
Habit of Complaint that he is sick.
That he wants for nothing
under the Sun, but what to say, and
therefore has fallen into
this unhappy Malady of complaining that he
is sick.
That this Custom of his makes
him, by his own Confession, fit only
for the Infirmary, and therefore
he has not waited for being
sentenced to it.
That he is conscious there is nothing more improper than such a Complaint in good Company, in that they must pity, whether they think the Lamenter ill or not; and that the Complainant must make a silly Figure, whether he is pitied or not.
Your Petitioner humbly prays,
that he may have Time to know how he
does, and he will make his
Appearance.
The Valetudinarian was likewise easily excused; and this Society being resolved not only to make it their Business to pass their Time agreeably for the present Season, but also to commence such Habits in themselves as may be of Use in their future Conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real Incapacity to join with their Measures, in order to have no Humourist, proud Man, impertinent or sufficient ellow, break in upon their Happiness. Great Evils seldom happen to disturb Company; but Indulgence in Particularities of Humour, is the Seed of making half our Time hang in Suspence, or waste away under real Discomposures.
Among other Things it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable Familiarities. No one is to appear in the publick Rooms undressed, or enter abruptly into each other’s Apartment without intimation. Every one has hitherto been so careful in his Behaviour, that there has but one Offender in ten Days Time been sent into the Infirmary, and that was for throwing away his Cards at Whist.
He has offered his Submission in the following Terms.