polite Part of Letters. A Conquest by one of this
Species of Females gives a very odd Turn to the Intellectuals
of the captivated Person, and very different from
that way of thinking which a Triumph from the Eyes
of another more emphatically of the fair Sex, does
generally occasion. It fills the Imagination with
an Assemblage of such Ideas and Pictures as are
hardly any thing but Shade, such as Night, the Devil,
&c. These Portraitures very near over-power the
Light of the Understanding, almost benight the Faculties,
and give that melancholy Tincture to the most sanguine
Complexion, which this Gentleman calls an Inclination
to be in a Brown-study, and is usually attended
with worse Consequences in case of a Repulse.
During this Twilight of Intellects, the Patient
is extremely apt, as Love is the most witty Passion
in Nature, to offer at some pert Sallies now and then,
by way of Flourish, upon the amiable Enchantress, and
unfortunately stumbles upon that Mongrel miscreated
(to speak in Miltonic) kind of Wit, vulgarly termed,
the Punn. It would not be much amiss to consult
Dr. T—W—[2] (who is certainly
a very able Projector, and whose system of Divinity
and spiritual Mechanicks obtains very much among
the better Part of our Under-Graduates) whether
a general Intermarriage, enjoyned by Parliament, between
this Sisterhood of the Olive Beauties, and the Fraternity
of the People call’d Quakers, would not be
a very serviceable Expedient, and abate that Overflow
of Light which shines within them so powerfully, that
it dazzles their Eyes, and dances them into a thousand
Vagaries of Error and Enthusiasm. These Reflections
may impart some Light towards a Discovery of the
Origin of Punning among us, and the Foundation of its
prevailing so long in this famous Body. Tis
notorious from the Instance under Consideration,
that it must be owing chiefly to the use of brown
Juggs, muddy Belch, and the Fumes of a certain memorable
Place of Rendezvous with us at Meals, known by the
Name of Staincoat Hole: For the Atmosphere
of the Kitchen, like the Tail of a Comet, predominates
least about the Fire, but resides behind and fills
the fragrant Receptacle above-mentioned. Besides,
’tis farther observable that the delicate
Spirits among us, who declare against these nauseous
proceedings, sip Tea, and put up for Critic and Amour,
profess likewise an equal Abhorrency for Punning,
the ancient innocent Diversion of this Society.
After all, Sir, tho’ it may appear something
absurd, that I seem to approach you with the Air of
an Advocate for Punning, (you who have justified
your Censures of the Practice in a set Dissertation
upon that Subject;) yet, I’m confident, you’ll
think it abundantly atoned for by observing, that this
humbler Exercise may be as instrumental in diverting
us from any innovating Schemes and Hypothesis in
Wit. as dwelling upon honest Orthodox Logic would
be in securing us from Heresie in Religion. Had
Mr. W—n’s [3] Researches been confined
within the Bounds of Ramus or Crackanthorp, that