and Working Aprons, she keeps four French Protestants
continually employ’d in making divers Pieces
of superfluous Furniture, as Quilts, Toilets, Hangings
for Closets, Beds, Window-Curtains, easy Chairs,
and Tabourets: Nor have I any hopes of ever
reclaiming her from this Extravagance, while she obstinately
persists in thinking it a notable piece of good Housewifry,
because they are made at home, and she has had some
share in the Performance. There would be no
end of relating to you the Particulars of the annual
Charge, in furnishing her Store-Room with a Profusion
of Pickles and Preserves; for she is not contented
with having every thing, unless it be done every
way, in which she consults an Hereditary Book of
Receipts; for her female Ancestors have been always
fam’d for good Housewifry, one of whom is made
immortal, by giving her Name to an Eye-Water and
two sorts of Puddings. I cannot undertake to
recite all her medicinal Preparations, as Salves,
Cerecloths, Powders, Confects, Cordials, Ratafia,
Persico, Orange-flower, and Cherry-Brandy, together
with innumerable sorts of Simple Waters. But
there is nothing I lay so much to Heart, as that detestable
Catalogue of counterfeit Wines, which derive their
Names from the Fruits, Herbs, or Trees of whose
Juices they are chiefly compounded: They are
loathsome to the Taste, and pernicious to the Health;
and as they seldom survive the Year, and then are thrown
away, under a false Pretence of Frugality, I may
affirm they stand me in more than if I entertain’d
all our Visiters with the best Burgundy and Champaign.
Coffee, Chocolate, Green, Imperial, Peco, and Bohea-Tea
seem to be Trifles; but when the proper Appurtenances
of the Tea-Table are added, they swell the Account
higher than one would imagine. I cannot conclude
without doing her Justice in one Article; where her
Frugality is so remarkable, I must not deny her the
Merit of it, and that is in relation to her Children,
who are all confin’d, both Boys and Girls,
to one large Room in the remotest Part of the House,
with Bolts on the Doors and Bars to the Windows,
under the Care and Tuition of an old Woman, who
had been dry Nurse to her Grandmother. This is
their Residence all the Year round; and as they are
never allow’d to appear, she prudently thinks
it needless to be at any Expence in Apparel or Learning.
Her eldest Daughter to this day would have neither
read nor writ, if it had not been for the Butler, who
being the Son of a Country Attorney, has taught
her such a Hand as is generally used for engrossing
Bills in Chancery. By this time I have sufficiently
tired your Patience with my domestick Grievances; which
I hope you will agree could not well be contain’d
in a narrower Compass, when you consider what a
Paradox I undertook to maintain in the Beginning
of my Epistle, and which manifestly appears to be but
too melancholy a Truth. And now I heartily
wish the Relation I have given of my Misfortunes
may be of Use and Benefit to the Publick. By the