I have seen much of the world, and have studied humanity in many phases and in many classes.

There is one type of man I have never yet known to be strong, reliable, and trustworthy,—­a man for a woman to lean upon in times of trouble and sorrow,—­a man I would like to see any friend take for a life companion,—­and that is the young man who asks a loan of money from a woman he loves, or one who loves him.  Believe me, there is some lack of real moral fibre in such a man.

A husband and wife many years married, and united by common interests, may become so one in purpose and thought that a common purse would be as natural to them as a common dinner-table.

With mutual interests, planning for their future and the future of their children, there could be no talk of “My money” and “Your money” between them.

But before marriage, or immediately after, the man who begins to ask a woman for the use of her purse, should be distrusted by her.  He could not broach such a subject unless he lacked a certain refined strength which makes a manly man a woman’s protector by nature.  Even where no sentiment exists between a man and a woman, the really strong men of the world never become borrowers from women.  If through friendly interest and affection some woman compelled such a man to take a loan, he would know no rest or peace of mind until he had liquidated the debt.

When a man is a woman’s lover, and asks her to advance money to him for any reason, she may as well realize at once the reed on which she will lean if she accepts him for a life companion.  To deceive herself for a moment with the idea that he will be a staff of strength, is but to delay disillusion.  A vital quality is left out of his character.

He is but one step removed from the man who seeks a woman because she has money.  And he is the most despicable of the human race.

I have known three women of different social positions to lend money to their lovers.

One man invested it and lost it, and never made an effort to reimburse the lady, who broke her engagement in consequence, after two unhappy years.  Another went away owing the money, and was never again heard from.  The third married the unwise woman who had loaned him her competence, and continued to look to her for support.

Therefore, my dear Nanette, I would urge you to think twice, and yet a third time, before you lend your fiance your savings.

Tell him frankly that you will feel more respect for him if he is willing to sacrifice comfort and save from his own income enough to lift the debt he has incurred, and that you are sure he will feel less humiliated as time goes by if he is not financially in debt to you.  If he were to fall ill tell him it would be your first impulse to devote your money to his care; but while he is able-bodied and well, you do not like to have him lean on you for aid.

You can judge something of the man’s character by the way he receives this statement from you.