left the bewilderment of a mysterious terror.
Her face was streaming with water and tears; there
was a wisp of hair on her forehead, another stuck to
her cheek; her hat was on one side, undecorously tilted;
her soaked veil resembled a sordid rag festooning
her forehead. There was an utter unreserve in
her aspect, an abandonment of safeguards, that ugliness
of truth which can only be kept out of daily life
by unremitting care for appearances. He did not
know why, looking at her, he thought suddenly of to-morrow,
and why the thought called out a deep feeling of unutterable,
discouraged weariness—a fear of facing
the succession of days. To-morrow! It was
as far as yesterday. Ages elapsed between sunrises—sometimes.
He scanned her features like one looks at a forgotten
country. They were not distorted—he
recognized landmarks, so to speak; but it was only
a resemblance that he could see, not the woman of
yesterday—or was it, perhaps, more than
the woman of yesterday? Who could tell? Was
it something new? A new expression—or
a new shade of expression? or something deep—an
old truth unveiled, a fundamental and hidden truth—some
unnecessary, accursed certitude? He became aware
that he was trembling very much, that he had an empty
tumbler in his hand—that time was passing.
Still looking at her with lingering mistrust he reached
towards the table to put the glass down and was startled
to feel it apparently go through the wood. He
had missed the edge. The surprise, the slight
jingling noise of the accident annoyed him beyond expression.
He turned to her irritated.
“What’s the meaning of this?” he
asked, grimly.
She passed her hand over her face and made an attempt
to get up.
“You’re not going to be absurd again,”
he said. “’Pon my soul, I did not know
you could forget yourself to that extent.”
He didn’t try to conceal his physical disgust,
because he believed it to be a purely moral reprobation
of every unreserve, of anything in the nature of a
scene. “I assure you—it was
revolting,” he went on. He stared for a
moment at her. “Positively degrading,”
he added with insistence.
She stood up quickly as if moved by a spring and tottered.
He started forward instinctively. She caught
hold of the back of the chair and steadied herself.
This arrested him, and they faced each other wide-eyed,
uncertain, and yet coming back slowly to the reality
of things with relief and wonder, as though just awakened
after tossing through a long night of fevered dreams.
“Pray, don’t begin again,” he said,
hurriedly, seeing her open her lips. “I
deserve some little consideration—and such
unaccountable behaviour is painful to me. I expect
better things. . . . I have the right. . . .”
She pressed both her hands to her temples.
“Oh, nonsense!” he said, sharply.
“You are perfectly capable of coming down to
dinner. No one should even suspect; not even the
servants. No one! No one! . . . I am
sure you can.”