and reputation had been wounded by us—­or, to speak more truly, if the calumniating spirit, tempting to induce thee to evil, had, by false illusions and deceitful fantasies, put into thy conceit the impression of a thought that we had done unto thee anything unworthy of our ancient correspondence and friendship, thou oughtest first to have inquired out the truth, and afterwards by a seasonable warning to admonish us thereof; and we should have so satisfied thee, according to thine own heart’s desire, that thou shouldst have had occasion to be contented.  But, O eternal God, what is thy enterprise?  Wouldst thou, like a perfidious tyrant, thus spoil and lay waste my master’s kingdom?  Hast thou found him so silly and blockish, that he would not—­or so destitute of men and money, of counsel and skill in military discipline, that he cannot withstand thy unjust invasion?  March hence presently, and to-morrow, some time of the day, retreat unto thine own country, without doing any kind of violence or disorderly act by the way; and pay withal a thousand besans of gold (which, in English money, amounteth to five thousand pounds), for reparation of the damages thou hast done in this country.  Half thou shalt pay to-morrow, and the other half at the ides of May next coming, leaving with us in the mean time, for hostages, the Dukes of Turnbank, Lowbuttock, and Smalltrash, together with the Prince of Itches and Viscount of Snatchbit (Tournemoule, Bas-de-fesses, Menuail, Gratelles, Morpiaille.).

Chapter 1.XXXII.

How Grangousier, to buy peace, caused the cakes to be restored.

With that the good man Gallet held his peace, but Picrochole to all his discourse answered nothing but Come and fetch them, come and fetch them, —­they have ballocks fair and soft,—­they will knead and provide some cakes for you.  Then returned he to Grangousier, whom he found upon his knees bareheaded, crouching in a little corner of his cabinet, and humbly praying unto God that he would vouchsafe to assuage the choler of Picrochole, and bring him to the rule of reason without proceeding by force.  When the good man came back, he asked him, Ha, my friend, what news do you bring me?  There is neither hope nor remedy, said Gallet; the man is quite out of his wits, and forsaken of God.  Yea, but, said Grangousier, my friend, what cause doth he pretend for his outrages?  He did not show me any cause at all, said Gallet, only that in a great anger he spoke some words of cakes.  I cannot tell if they have done any wrong to his cake-bakers.  I will know, said Grangousier, the matter thoroughly, before I resolve any more upon what is to be done.  Then sent he to learn concerning that business, and found by true information that his men had taken violently some cakes from Picrochole’s people, and that Marquet’s head was broken with a slacky or short cudgel; that, nevertheless, all was well paid, and that the said Marquet had first hurt Forgier with