PATCHA
God help us all!

DANNUX
And where’s Boulanger now, might I ask?

PATCHA
He’s gone out on a little message for me.  He should
be here any minute.

DANNUX I suppose there’s no use askin’ you for that one pound two and sixpence that you borrowed from my brother, Lord Pebble, some time ago.  I’m after gettin’ a job from the parish priest to set a range in his kitchen, but I haven’t either a trowel or a hammer, and unless I can raise the price of them, I’ll lose the contract.

PATCHA
And when will you get paid?

DANNUX
The instant the job is finished.

PATCHA
How much will the tools cost?

DANNUX
Three shillin’s, at least.

PATCHA I don’t know if I could spare that amount, but I might be able to give you a shillin’ when Boulanger comes back.

DANNUX
Was it to the pawnshop you sent him?

PATCHA ’Twas indeed, then.  And with the only suit of clothes I had too.  We were both dead broke, and my landlady stopped the grub yesterday mornin’, And I haven’t broken my fast since.  So here I am now without a bit in the world but the shirt on my back.

DANNUX The birds of the air or the fish in the sea couldn’t be worse off, themselves.  Why didn’t you make Boulanger stay in bed and pawn his clothes instead of your own, you fool?

PATCHA That would be the devil’s own strange way to entertain your guest, wouldn’t it?

DANNUX
That’s the queerest story I ever heard.

PATCHA
Sure we must get a bit to eat somehow.  ’Tis famished
I am with the hunger, as it is.

[Brophy staggers into the room slightly intoxicated.

NEDSERS (putting out his hand to Dannux) Well, well, well!  How’s my old pal Wellington?  Who’d ever think of finding you here! (As they shake hands) There are no friends like the old ones.  The world is a small place after all.  Twas in Cork we met the last time and in Fermoy before that.

DANNUX
’Pon my word but I believe you’re right.

PATCHA (excitedly, to Nedsers)
Where’s the food I sent you for?

NEDSERS (staggers to the side of the bed and sits down) Wait and I’ll tell you what happened to me.  All I got on your old suit of clothes was five shillin’s, and if you don’t believe me look at the ticket. (Hands ticket) Well, I went into a pub to get a drop of grog, and asked for a half shot of the best, put the five bob on the counter, got my drink, put the change in my pocket, and lo and behold, when I went to look for it again, I couldn’t find a trace of it high or low.  Only for that I’d have brought you somethin’ to eat.  There’s no use cryin’ over spilt milk, is there, Dannux?  Wellington, I should have said.  Well, how are you, anyway?  ’Tis a long time since we worked together.  Isn’t it?

PATCHA (catching him by the back of the neck) Glory be to the Lord!  Is it the way you are takin’ leave of your senses?  There’s my only suit of clothes in pawn, and the money you raised on them gone, and you here with your belly full of dirty drink, and I with my belly empty and my guts rattlin’ in want of food.  ’Tis you that should feel ashamed of yourself to have me in such a condition and all on your account too.