MRS. CORCORAN (gets a glass of water and gives it to Lady Delahunty) Here, now, take this, and you will be soon all right again.

LADY DELAHUNTY (as she recovers, turns to Kitty) I suppose ’twas at your instigation that all this happened.  You impudent, prevaricatin’, philanderin’ galavanter.  Now we will be the laughin’ stock of the whole country.  If Sir Denis—­

DONAL
Plain Denis, if you please, ma’am.

LADY DELAHUNTY (to her husband)
If you had only the good sense of refusin’ the title
itself, but—­

SIR DENIS
We’ll never be able to live down the shame and disgrace
of it, Lady Delahunty.

DONAL
Plain Statia Delahunty, if you please.

LADY DELAHUNTY (to Kitty) If you were worth the weight of yourself in gold and could sing like a lark, I wouldn’t give Finbarr to you now.

KITTY I never asked for him, ma’am.  I told you all that I would marry only my own man, and here he is. (Calls Constable Dunlea to her side and takes his arm) We are to be married next month, and then what need I care about titles or the aristocracy when I will have himself to support and protect me while he lives, and his pension if he should die, and the law of the land at my back all the time.

CURTAIN

* * * * *

RETRIBUTION

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT

CHARACTERS

PATCHA CREMIN (nicknamed NAPOLEON) A carpenter
NEDSERS BROPHY (nicknamed BOULANGER) A mason
DANNUX TOUHY (nicknamed THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON) A mason
MRS. FENNESSEY A lodging-house keeper

RETRIBUTION

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT

Scene:  Bedroom in a country lodging house.  There is one narrow bed and two chairs in the room, and a picture of Robert Emmet hangs on the wall.  Patcha Cremin is lying in bed with his head covered.  A loud knocking is heard at the door.

PATCHA (startled, uncovers his head and looks about him.  The knocking continues) Who’s there? (Thinking for a moment that he is at home and that his wife is calling) Oh, is that you, Ellie?

MRS. FENNESSEY (from without)
It is not Ellie, then.

PATCHA (not yet properly awake)
And who is it?

MRS. FENNESSEY
’Tis me.

PATCHA (angrily)
And who the blazes are you?

MRS. FENNESSEY
Mrs. Fennessey, your landlady.

PATCHA
Oh, yes!  Of course, Mrs. Fennessey, excuse me,
ma’am.  I thought I was at home and that my wife
was callin’ me to get up to go to work.

MRS. FENNESSEY
Are you in bed yet?

PATCHA
I am, ma’am.