“Wanted, a young man of dashing appearance, with a good vocabulary to act as travelling salesman, must be well recommended, and have a thorough knowledge of the dry goods business.”  That won’t do either.

“Wanted, a middle-aged man to act as companion to an invalid.  He must have a knowledge of French and German, and be able to play the violin.”  That won’t do.

“Wanted a man to make himself generally useful at
an undertaker’s establishment.  Apply to Michael
Cassily.  William O’Brien St.” 
Bedad, but that’s the very job for you.

FALVEY
But how am I to get it?

DEVLIN
I’ll give you a letter of introduction to Micky Cassily. 
He’s an old friend of mine.

FALVEY
Sure, that would be a great thing entirely.

DEVLIN Wait now, and I’ll make a man of you, and if you should ever become Lord Mayor of Cork or Dublin, you must not forget me.

FALVEY
Indeed, I’ll never be able to forget this blessed day,
and the kindness of the people I have met in Castlemorgan.

[Knocks for the publican, and walks up and down; when the publican enters, he assumes an air of great importance.

DRISCOLL
What’s the matter?

DEVLIN
I want you to oblige me with a few sheets of note
paper, a bottle of ink, and a writin’ pen.

DRISCOLL
And what do you want them for?

DEVLIN To write a letter of introduction for this poor man here.  He’s lookin’ for work, and I want to help him to get it.

DRISCOLL
Then I’ll give them to you with pleasure.

[Exit.

DEVLIN You needn’t worry any more.  I’ll get a job for you.  Micky and myself are old friends.  He buried my father and mother and all belongin’ to me.  And although I do say it myself, there isn’t a better undertaker from here to Dublin.  He’s as good a judge of a dead man as any one you ever met, and could measure the size of a coffin without using the tape at all. [Enter Driscoll.

DRISCOLL (as he places writing materials on the table) Here’s the writing material, and may good luck attend you.

DEVLIN
Thank you, very much. (To Falvey) Now to business.

[They both sit at the table, and Devlin commences to write.

Deadwoman’s Hill,
Goulnaspurra.

Dear Mr. Cassily: 

I have the hon—­how’s that you spell honour?—­h-o-n-n-o-u-r, of course.  Yes, that’s right.  I have the honour, and likewise the (pauses) unprecedented—­that’s not an easy word to spell—­u-n-p-r-ee-s-c-ee-d-e-n-t-e-d—­that wasn’t such a hard word after all, and it looks fine in print (repeats) unprecedented and the great pleasure—­that spells p-l-e-a-s-u-r—­of introducing, that’s a stumbler of a word,—­i-n-t-r-d—­(to Falvey) Can you spell the rest of it?

FALVEY
i-n-t-e-r-w-e-i-n—­

DEVLIN
No.  That’s not right.  We had better call Bill
Driscoll.  Are you there, Bill?
[Enter Driscoll.