MR. CASSIDY
I beg to disagree with your Worship.

MARTIN O’FLYNN How dare you disagree with me, sir, and I drinking poteen every day of my life.  I’d resign my seat on the Bench rather than suffer to be insulted in such a manner again.

MR. CASSIDY
I apologise.  Nothing could be further from my
thought than offence.

MARTIN O’FLYNN I’m glad to hear you say so, because when I said that the liquor in the decanter was poteen, I knew what I was talking about.  Unless the prisoner tells us how he procured this illegal drink, he will be imprisoned for six months.

MR. FENNELL
For six months, is it?

MARTIN O’FLYNN Yes, for six long months, and you must find bail for your good behavior at the end of the term for a period of twelve months.

MR. FENNELL Well, as you are so anxious to know where I procured the stuff that you have certified to be poteen, I have great pleasure in telling you that it was purchased at Mr. Cornelius John Michael O’Crowley’s establishment under the name of Scotch whiskey, and if there is any doubt about the matter, I can show you some of his own sealed bottles with the same stuff in them.

MR. O’CROWLEY
The saints protect us!  What a vile fabrication!

MRS. FENNELL
Ah, you old hypocrite, ’tis about time that you were
found out.

MR. O’CROWLEY Place that woman under arrest for contempt of court. (Mrs. Fennell is placed in the dock) Now, Mrs. Fennell, anything that you will say will be used in evidence against you, so I warn you to hold your tongue and keep quiet.

MRS. FENNELL
I’ll try and keep quiet, your Worship.

MR. O’CROWLEY Gentlemen, I regret to state that a mistake has occurred somewhere, and there’s nothing more plentiful than mistakes.  They commenced long ago in the Garden of Eden, and they are as inevitable as the day and night, as inevitable, I might say, as America itself.  Yes, some one has blundered, as Napoleon said when he woke up and found himself a prisoner on St. Helena.  Mr. Fennell, alas! has erred, but to err is human, and to forgive is divine.  We are reasonable people, and we must treat this matter in a reasonable manner.  The prisoner has stated that he purchased poteen at my premises, but what reliance can we place on the word of a man who is addicted to drinking poteen?  None whatever.  We have only the prisoner’s word that the poteen was purchased at my establishment, but the probability is that he was only suffering from its ill effects when he imagined that I was the one who supplied it.  Though I’m very sorry indeed to have anything to say against Mr. Fennell, his word cannot be taken as evidence, and the case will be dismissed. (Applause, which is suppressed) The dignity of the court must be upheld, and the next person who applauds will be ejected.

[Mr. Fennett is dismissed and Mrs. Fennett placed in the dock.  She goes through the usual ordeal of swearing, and Mr. O’Crowley tries her case.