I gave him some more brandy.

A little later he recognised me and smiled.  I examined his programme and found that he was engaged for the next dance to a girl who could talk to anyone on any subject; I could see my wife’s hand in the arrangement.  I explained the situation, piloted him to his partner and stayed with them a while.  She made several openings for him in the conversation, which he immediately sealed up with monosyllables, and when she allowed her fan to slip to the floor he stepped on it.  She suggested that they should take the air on the balcony, and as I left them he pulled himself together and began to tell her, in a well-modulated voice, that the surface of the floor was excellent.

Later I saw him with the same partner still on the balcony.  They were both pale and silent and had apparently never moved.  They seemed to be exercising an unconscious fascination on one another.  My courage failed me and I went elsewhere.

Some time after I happened to be at the buffet when Norman staggered in and ordered a large brandy-and-soda.  There were beads of perspiration on his forehead and he was as white as death.

“What has happened?” I asked as soon as, I could attract his attention.

“It is horrible—­horrible!” he gasped.

“Tell me what has happened,” I commanded, grasping his shoulder.

“What has happened!” he repeated, with a hollow laugh.  “I am undone.  My career is at an end.  I am a broken man.”

“What have you done?”

“I couldn’t help it,” he sobbed.  “We sat there for an age, an eternity, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to act.  At length my nerve gave way and I—­I’ve pulled all her teeth out.”

* * * * *

The unemployment scandal.

[The evening papers have lately published some striking incidents regarding the struggle for existence that is undergone by certain gentlemen who are in receipt of the Unemployment Allowance.]

“We are longing for work,” said a young man who, after suffering the horrors of war for nearly four years in the Ministry of Superfluous Hotels and Hutments, has just been evacuated.  “We have prepared a list of billets that we are ready to take up at a moment’s notice.”

From this list I select a few of the more likely situations:—­

1.  Hot-cross-bun maker to the Jewish colony at White-chapel.

2.  “Double-blank” man at a factory for putting spots on dominoes.

3.  Muzzle-maker to the Master of the King’s Buckhounds.

4.  King of Albania.

5.  Judge of the Bigamy Court at Salt Lake City.

6.  Military Attache to the Colonial Secretary to the German Government.

7.  Deputy-Assistant Torpedo-Lieutenant to the Swiss Navy.

8.  Press Censor to distinguished Field-Marshals, Admirals, etc.

9.  Manufacturer of flannel petticoats to the Hippodrome Beauty Chorus.