My conservator, though temporarily stayed, was not convinced.  He felt that I was not improving where I was, and he wisely decided that the best course would be to have me transferred to a public institution—­the State Hospital.  A few days later the judge who had originally committed me ordered my transfer.  Nothing was said to me about the proposed change until the moment of departure, and then I could scarcely believe my ears.  In fact I did not believe my informant; for three weeks of abuse, together with my continued inability to get in touch with my conservator, had so shaken my reason that there was a partial recurrence of old delusions.  I imagined myself on the way to the State Prison, a few miles distant; and not until the train had passed the prison station did I believe that I was really on my way to the State Hospital.

XVIII

The State Hospital in which I now found myself, the third institution to which I had been committed, though in many respects above the average of such institutions, was typical.  It commanded a wide view of a beautiful river and valley.  This view I was permitted to enjoy—­at first.  Those in charge of the institution which I had just left did not give my new custodians any detailed account of my case.  Their reticence was, I believe, occasioned by chagrin rather than charity.  Tamers of wild men have as much pride as tamers of wild animals (but unfortunately less skill) and to admit defeat is a thing not to be thought of.  Though private institutions are prone to shift their troublesome cases to state institutions, there is too often a deplorable lack of sympathy and co-operation between them, which, in this instance, however, proved fortunate for me.

From October 18th until the early afternoon of November 8th, at the private institution, I had been classed as a raving maniac.  The name I had brought upon myself by experimental conduct; the condition had been aggravated and perpetuated by the stupidity of those in authority over me.  And it was the same experimental conduct on my part, and stupidity on the part of my new custodians, which gave rise, two weeks later, to a similar situation.  On Friday, November 7th, I was in a strait-jacket.  On November 9th and 10th I was apparently as tractable as any of the twenty-three hundred patients in the State Hospital—­conventionally clothed, mild mannered, and, seemingly, right minded.  On the 9th, the day after my arrival, I attended a church service held at the hospital.  My behavior was not other than that of the most pious worshipper in the land.  The next evening, with most exemplary deportment, I attended one of the dances which are held every fortnight during the winter.  Had I been a raving maniac, such activities would have led to a disturbance; for maniacs, of necessity, disregard the conventions of both pious and polite society.  Yet, on either of these days, had I been in the private institution which I had recently left, I should have occupied a cell and worn a strait-jacket.