The piece of glass with which I had that morning written the motto already quoted, I had appropriated for a purpose.  Knowing that I should soon be put in the uncomfortable, but not necessarily intolerable embrace of a strait-jacket, my thought was that I might during the night, in some way or other, use this piece of glass to advantage—­perhaps cut my way to a limited freedom.  To make sure that I should retain possession of it, I placed it in my mouth and held it snugly against my cheek.  Its presence there did not interfere with my speech; nor did it invite visual detection.  But had I known as much about strait-jackets and their adjustment as I learned later, I should have resorted to no such futile expedient.

After many nights of torture, this jacket, at my urgent and repeated request, was finally adjusted in such manner that, had it been so adjusted at first, I need not have suffered any torture at all.  This I knew at the time, for I had not failed to discuss the matter with a patient who on several occasions had been restrained in this same jacket.

On this occasion the element of personal spite entered into the assistant physician’s treatment of me.  The man’s personality was apparently dual.  His “Jekyll” personality was the one most in evidence, but it was the “Hyde” personality that seemed to control his actions when a crisis arose.  It was “Doctor Jekyll” who approached my room that night, accompanied by the attendants.  The moment he entered my room he became “Mr. Hyde.”  He was, indeed, no longer a doctor, or the semblance of one.  His first move was to take the straitjacket in his own hands and order me to stand.  Knowing that those in authority really believed I had that day attempted to kill myself, I found no fault with their wish to put me in restraint; but I did object to having this done by Jekyll-Hyde.  Though a straitjacket should always be adjusted by the physician in charge, I knew that as a matter of fact the disagreeable duty was invariably assigned to the attendants.  Consequently Jekyll-Hyde’s eagerness to assume an obligation he usually shirked gave me the feeling that his motives were spiteful.  For that reason I preferred to entrust myself to the uncertain mercies of a regular attendant; and I said so, but in vain.  “If you will keep your mouth shut, I’ll be able to do this job quicker,” said Jekyll-Hyde.

“I’ll shut my mouth as soon as you get out of this room and not before,” I remarked.  Nor did I. My abusive language was, of course, interlarded with the inevitable epithets.  The more I talked, the more vindictive he became.  He said nothing, but, unhappily for me, he expressed his pent-up feelings in something more effectual than words.  After he had laced the jacket, and drawn my arms across my chest so snugly that I could not move them a fraction of an inch, I asked him to loosen the strait-jacket enough to enable me at least to take a full breath.  I also requested him to give me a chance to adjust my fingers, which had been caught in an unnatural and uncomfortable position.