output was something like twelve feet, with an average of one hundred and fifty words to the foot.  Under the pressure of elation one takes pride in doing everything in record time.  Despite my speed my letters were not incoherent.  They were simply digressive, which was to be expected, as elation befogs one’s “goal idea.”  Though these epistolary monstrosities were launched, few reached those to whom they were addressed; for my conservator had wisely ordered that my literary output be sent in bulk to him.  His action was exasperating, but later I realized that he had done me a great favor when he interposed his judgment between my red-hot mentality and the cool minds of the workaday world.  Yet this interference with what I deemed my rights proved to be the first step in the general overruling of them by tactless attendants and, in particular, by a certain assistant physician.

I had always shown a strong inclination to superintend.  In consequence, in my elated condition it was but natural that I should have an excess of executive impulses.  In order to decrease this executive pressure I proceeded to assume entire charge of that portion of the hospital in which I happened at the moment to be confined.  What I eventually issued as imperative orders were often presented at first as polite suggestions.  But, if my suggestions were not accorded a respectful hearing, and my demands acted upon at once, I invariably supplemented them with vituperative ultimatums.  These were double-edged, and involved me in trouble quite as often as they gained the ends I sought.

The assistant physician in charge of my case, realizing that he could not grant all of my requests, unwisely decided to deny most of them.  Had he been tactful, he could have taken the same stand without arousing my animosity.  As it was, he treated me with a contemptuous sort of indifference which finally developed into spite, and led to much trouble for us both.  During the two wild months that followed, the superintendent and the steward could induce me to do almost anything by simply requesting it.  If two men out of three could control me easily during such a period of mental excitement, is it not reasonable to suppose that the third man, the assistant physician, could likewise have controlled me had he treated me with consideration?  It was his undisguised superciliousness that gave birth to my contempt for him.  In a letter written during my second week of elation, I expressed the opinion that he and I should get along well together.  But that was before I had become troublesome enough to try the man’s patience.  Nevertheless, it indicates that he could have saved himself hours of time and subsequent worry, had he met my friendly advances in the proper spirit, for it is the quality of heart quite as much as the quantity of mind that cures or makes happy the insane.