This will introduce to you Mr. Stephen Thompson, of Dundee, New Mexico.  You will kindly consider yourself in loco parentis to him, charging same to my account.

On presentation of this letter, please pay Mr. Thompson’s fine or go his bail, as the case may be, furnish him with pocket-money and a ticket home, and see him safely on the right train.

Should the matter be more serious, wire me at once.  Periodical insanity can be readily proved.  He has just recovered from a paroxysm at this writing.  He is subject to these attacks whenever his wishes are crossed, having been raised a pet.  Therefore, you will be doing yourself a great favor by acceding to any request he may make, however unreasonable it may seem.  It is unlucky to oppose or thwart him; but he is amenable to kindness.  Kindly apprize municipal and Federal authorities for the preservation of public safety.  Your loss is our eternal gain.

* * * * *

During the ensuing applause he signed this production.  Steve pocketed it gravely.  “Thank you,” he said.  “When I get down to husks I’ll look up my locoed parent.”

“The Bird of Time,” said the Transient vociferously, “hash but a little way to flutter.  Cash in!  The bird ish on the wing!  Tomorro’sh tangle to the winds reshign.  Come, all ye midnight roish-roishterers!  A few more kindly cupsh for Auld Lang Shine.  Then let ush eshcort thish highwayman to the gatesh of the city and cash him forth to outer darknesh!  Let ush shing!

    I stood on a flush at midnight,
       When my money was nearly gone,
    And two moonsh rosh over the city
       Where there shouldn’t have been but one.”

* * * * *

In Ohio, one of rough appearance, clad in a fire-new, ready-made suit, began to pervade Thompson’s car; restlessly rushing from one side to the other in conscientious effort to see all there was to be seen; finally taking to the vestibule as affording better conveniences for observations.  He was, however, not so absorbed in the scenery but that he took sharp note of the cowboy’s unsophisticated garb and guileless mien.  Later, when Steve went into the smoker, he struck up acquaintance with him; initiated by the mere demand for a light, continued through community of interest, as both being evidently non-urban.

A voluble and open-hearted person, the stranger, displaying much specie during their not infrequent visits to the buffet for refreshment of the jocund grape, where they vied with each other in liberality, and one who naively imparted his private history without reticence.  A lumberman, who had risen from the ranks; a Non-Com. of Industry, so to speak, who, having made his pile, was now, impelled by filial piety, revisiting his old New England Home.