10th Mo. 14th.  Talk with James Teare on the immorality of drinking.  Query:—­Is it per se a sin to drink a little?  He does not affirm it in pure abstract, but says that no action can be purely abstract; and that as to uphold an immoral system is immoral, as the drinking system is immoral, as moderate draughts uphold the drinking system, and, in fact, cannot be drunk by the community without giving birth to drunkenness—­ergo, moderate drinking is an immoral practice.  He does not at all judge those who do not see it; only says they ought to accept light and knowledge, and he cannot doubt what would then be the result.

10th Mo. 17th.  The above talk with J. Teare was a great satisfaction to me; we went that evening to his meeting, and after two hours of deep interest in a crowded meeting I signed the pledge, with a hand trembling with emotion.  I could not trust myself to tell S. that the pleasure he expressed was but a faint reflection of mine.  I have been expending two days in a letter to the Friend on “Distillation,” which I ardently hope to get inserted.

11th Mo. 3d.  Last evening sweetly realized in some degree being in the Lord’s own hands; and this morning again enabled to cease from my own vain attempts and trust the Lord.  Oh, the folly of the long trials I have made to do something, when I come before Him!  It is all in vain.  If I am ever saved it will be His doing, His free grace; and this moment can I call Jesus my Saviour.  On Fifth-day I read Barclay’s fifth Proposition—­pleased and satisfied almost entirely with it.

12th Mo. 5th.  I have got my letter inserted in the Friend; the editor says my zeal has carried me too far as to means; he agrees as to the evil of the system.  Oh that it were seen as it deserves!  But how talk of abolition by law, and keep spirit-merchants in the Church? [See Friend, vol. iv. page 232.]

  12th Mo. 11th.—­Letter to M.B.

* * * Nothing, I think, loses by its foundation being tried.  We see that in yet higher things it is needful and right often to try whether principle is firm; and, though sometimes we may tremble lest faith should fall in the trial, perhaps it would be more just to fear lest the trial should merely show it already to have fallen.  What thou sayest about laying aside reasoning is very true; but how hard to do so!  Saul’s armor doubtless it is, as says the little tract.  How easy, comparatively, to let any want go unsatisfied, rather than that imperious reason which urges its claim with so many good pretences, which tells us truth will always bear investigation, and that if we cannot explain by our small faculties experiences in which the highest mysteries are involved, the experiences must have been fallacious!  How different is this sort of voluntary and almost presumptuous